I began my Breastfeeding journey knowing this:
Breast milk is better than formula
It is free and more convenient
My mom and grandma did it
My goals for how long I would breastfeed was nothing I even thought about when my son was born. I really had no knowledge of how to even breastfeed other than knowing that you put baby on the breast and let them do their thing. I had friends recommend a consultant if I had any trouble at all. 5 days after my son was born my milk 'came in' and then I was really confused. I was able to get a consultation that very same day and gained a lot of knowledge in the process. We continued on our journey figuring out as we went and I grew to love breastfeeding.
What I learned as we continued on our journey was how amazing breast milk actually is. God continues to amaze me by the way that He has designed our bodies as woman for the birthing/laboring/mothering process. There are so many other benefits of breastfeeding it would take up pages to tell you about. But a few of my favorites are this:
*Nursing releases endorphins and the hormone oxytocin which is the same hormone that is released when you 'fall in love'. This can reduce the incidence of have PPD and give you a natural mommy high!
*Nursing, often times, prevents you from having a menstrual period for quite some time after baby is born. This keeps you stocked up with Iron which is not only a great source for baby, but it helps mommy recover from labor and delivery.
*If baby gets a virus, the virus going into the body through the breast, and the body builds antibodies against that virus and gives it to baby through the milk.
*When your baby goes through a growth spurt or begins to want more milk, your body senses that your baby wants/needs more milk and your body produces more.
*Breast milk is the only nutrients that your baby needs for the FIRST YEAR OF LIFE.
*Nursing burns so many calories many times nursing mothers have to eat more in order to keep weight on.
With all that being said, it is unfortunately now time for my breastfeeding journey to end for my son and I. I am 20 weeks pregnant and my hormones have depleted my milk supply to almost nothing. Although my goal before getting pregnant was to nurse much longer, it is not going to be possible. This saddens me greatly but I know that I've done everything I can for my son and making it over a year is a great accomplishment and not having to give my son any formula was such a blessing. I want to continue to encourage my nursing mothers and friends and be of any help I can to you all. I will be starting another breastfeeding chapter soon enough and cannot wait for that time.
Breast is Best.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
Car Seat Safety!
Hi Guys!
If you know me, you know i'm passionate about keeping children safe. Whether it be in a car, at home, through what they eat etc... so it's no secret that as many fatal car accidents as there are per year, that I'd have a strong opinion about what children sit in while in a vehicle. Please read along for more info on how to ensure that your child is as safe as possible while in a vehicle.
When we found out we were pregnant, we were given lots of baby items from family. 1 infant car seat and 2 toddler seats, to name a few items. We were very thankful as we always hear children are expensive so getting anything we could, for free, was such a blessing. When you go down the registry checklist, there are lots of items under car seat that seem to be necessities; buckle straps, infant head support, infant neck support, mirrors, adaptors.... and as a new mommy, you scan them all if you're like me. Am I right?
Taking my son home from the hospital I had no idea how to put him into the car seat. You think its pretty self explanatory right? Buckle the top and the bottom and you're done. That's what I did for 3 months. I had no concern of whether or not the straps were tight enough, or if the buckles were in the right place... what is the 'right place' anyway? It wasnt until a friend shared with me the purpose of each buckle that I realized i'd been doing it all wrong, and in the meantime, putting my son's life at stake had we been in a crash.
Going home from the hospital... all wrong
Here is the info I was given but I will also provide links below for further references.
Chest Clip
The top buckle is actually called the "chest clip". It is supposed to be over the chest, imagine that! To be more specific right on top of the nipple area. The reasoning behind this is because this buckle's purpose is to protect the vital organs and the chest cavity in a crash. If it is at the level of the belly button, the vital organs are exposed and in a crash could mean fatal injuries.
Strap Level
There are multiple slits in the back of the car seat that determine where the straps come in from. These need to be AT OR BELOW the level of the babies shoulders. The problem with them being higher up is that if in a crash the straps are higher up than the shoulders, they will allow the baby to slip upwards in their seat. If lowered they will prevent the child from flying upward and allow the car seat to take the impact of the crash.
Head Rest and other additives
Any item that is added to the car seat that DID NOT come with the car seat is a void of warranty per the manual. I know this seems strange, why do they sell things to add to car seats, if they will void the warranty from the manufacturer? Every company wants to make money and lets face it, those cute fussy monkey straps make that car seat look so cute right? So when we dont know, we purchase them and use them.
Any head support cushion that didnt come with the car seat, if broken or in a crash, will void the warranty and per the manufacturer, will make the car seat unsafe.
Bulky Clothes
You should not have on any winter coats or anything other than a light jacket. Anything that you must loosen the straps in order to clip it, creates too much space and if in a crash, can allow the baby to actually be throw or slip out of the car seat altogether. Cover the baby with a blanket in the winter and put a jacket on once you arrive at your destination.
Loose Straps
Make sure the straps are tight against baby's body. If you can pinch the straps they are not tight enough. If in a crash, loose straps can allow baby to fly forward and cause internal decapitation and/or spinal and neck injuries.
And last but not least, Rear facing is the safest position for your child. The MINIMUM requirement for rear facing is 20#'s AND 1 year old. Your child must be BOTH over the age of 1 and over 20#'s. But, in a crash 100% of manufacturor's believe rear facing is the safest position to avoid head and neck injuries.
If you wish, watch the video below to see the story of Joel, an 18 month old who was in a crash while forward facing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8gU9zzCGA8
For more information on car seats check out the links below
http://www.parents.com/baby/safety/car/baby-car-seat-safety-check-avoid-common-mistakes/
http://dailymomtra.com/2011/03/30/the-picture-guide-to-car-seat-safety/
If you know me, you know i'm passionate about keeping children safe. Whether it be in a car, at home, through what they eat etc... so it's no secret that as many fatal car accidents as there are per year, that I'd have a strong opinion about what children sit in while in a vehicle. Please read along for more info on how to ensure that your child is as safe as possible while in a vehicle.
When we found out we were pregnant, we were given lots of baby items from family. 1 infant car seat and 2 toddler seats, to name a few items. We were very thankful as we always hear children are expensive so getting anything we could, for free, was such a blessing. When you go down the registry checklist, there are lots of items under car seat that seem to be necessities; buckle straps, infant head support, infant neck support, mirrors, adaptors.... and as a new mommy, you scan them all if you're like me. Am I right?
Taking my son home from the hospital I had no idea how to put him into the car seat. You think its pretty self explanatory right? Buckle the top and the bottom and you're done. That's what I did for 3 months. I had no concern of whether or not the straps were tight enough, or if the buckles were in the right place... what is the 'right place' anyway? It wasnt until a friend shared with me the purpose of each buckle that I realized i'd been doing it all wrong, and in the meantime, putting my son's life at stake had we been in a crash.
Here is the info I was given but I will also provide links below for further references.
Chest Clip
The top buckle is actually called the "chest clip". It is supposed to be over the chest, imagine that! To be more specific right on top of the nipple area. The reasoning behind this is because this buckle's purpose is to protect the vital organs and the chest cavity in a crash. If it is at the level of the belly button, the vital organs are exposed and in a crash could mean fatal injuries.
Strap Level
There are multiple slits in the back of the car seat that determine where the straps come in from. These need to be AT OR BELOW the level of the babies shoulders. The problem with them being higher up is that if in a crash the straps are higher up than the shoulders, they will allow the baby to slip upwards in their seat. If lowered they will prevent the child from flying upward and allow the car seat to take the impact of the crash.
Head Rest and other additives
Any item that is added to the car seat that DID NOT come with the car seat is a void of warranty per the manual. I know this seems strange, why do they sell things to add to car seats, if they will void the warranty from the manufacturer? Every company wants to make money and lets face it, those cute fussy monkey straps make that car seat look so cute right? So when we dont know, we purchase them and use them.
Any head support cushion that didnt come with the car seat, if broken or in a crash, will void the warranty and per the manufacturer, will make the car seat unsafe.
Bulky Clothes
You should not have on any winter coats or anything other than a light jacket. Anything that you must loosen the straps in order to clip it, creates too much space and if in a crash, can allow the baby to actually be throw or slip out of the car seat altogether. Cover the baby with a blanket in the winter and put a jacket on once you arrive at your destination.
Loose Straps
Make sure the straps are tight against baby's body. If you can pinch the straps they are not tight enough. If in a crash, loose straps can allow baby to fly forward and cause internal decapitation and/or spinal and neck injuries.
And last but not least, Rear facing is the safest position for your child. The MINIMUM requirement for rear facing is 20#'s AND 1 year old. Your child must be BOTH over the age of 1 and over 20#'s. But, in a crash 100% of manufacturor's believe rear facing is the safest position to avoid head and neck injuries.
If you wish, watch the video below to see the story of Joel, an 18 month old who was in a crash while forward facing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8gU9zzCGA8
For more information on car seats check out the links below
http://www.parents.com/baby/safety/car/baby-car-seat-safety-check-avoid-common-mistakes/
http://dailymomtra.com/2011/03/30/the-picture-guide-to-car-seat-safety/
Monday, April 29, 2013
How is your Prayer life?
I recently had a friend post a status on facebook asking her friends if they just say "I'll pray for you" and then never do, or if they truly do remember to pray when they say they will.
We are all guilty of this arent we? But why? What are we so busy doing that we cant stop and pray for someone? Dont we believe that Prayer can CHANGE things? Dont we believe that God wants to hear our requests?
I've also read a bunch of posts about Pay it Forward. Some people saying they pay for the car behind them in the drive thru, or I heard in the check out line, the person in front of a friend bought a $10 gift card and handed it to the person in line behind her. It seems the world is getting more generous amidst the horrible tragedies that continue to happen in our country. BUT, do these random acts of kindness pose any future benefit? One could agree this, but what I purpose to challenge us about is how much more of a benefit can we give our friends/enemies/family WHOEVER by praying for them.
A couple years ago I had a friend talk to me over messaging. We were talking about a lot of our struggles and right over the internet, she prayed for me via messaging. I had asked for prayers and never would have thought of doing it like that... but how powerful that was. It made such an impact that I started doing this as well. I have prayed for people on their own facebook pages or messages. I've emailed and texted prayers to people before. Is anything too difficult for our GOD? Can He not reach people through internet prayers?
My challenge to you is this. With the growing popularity of "Pay it forward" and "Random acts of kindness", I ask you this... Look for opportunities to pray for others. Pray for the Lord to give you more opportunities to affect the lives of those around you. Facebook, was intended to be something good, but it can and has at times, turned into something toxic. You dont have to scroll down your newsfeed too far to find controversy. I challenge you. Pray for your friends. If you dont feel comfortable typing and leaving a public message, then send a private message and encourage your friends. If someone is having a rough day, pray for them.
A $10 gift card sure if nice, especially unexpected from someone you dont even know.... but those warm fuzzy feelings will eventually fade, maybe even on your way home driving (we all know people are crazy drivers).... but how much more can a prayer impact someone who is hurting, or in need, or feeling alone. Someone who is exhausted, a single mother, struggling....
Lets take the time to pray.... right now
Lord Jesus, You are all mighty, alpha and omega. You are the beginning of everything. You created the world. You created us. You love us so much more than we can ever imagine. You have planned our days before we even knew you. Thank you for giving us all the ability to impact others. Thank you for empowering us with your Holy Spirit. May you bring opportunities for us to encourage and pray for others. Make us salt. Make us shine like a light on a stand. We love you Lord. Amen
We are all guilty of this arent we? But why? What are we so busy doing that we cant stop and pray for someone? Dont we believe that Prayer can CHANGE things? Dont we believe that God wants to hear our requests?
I've also read a bunch of posts about Pay it Forward. Some people saying they pay for the car behind them in the drive thru, or I heard in the check out line, the person in front of a friend bought a $10 gift card and handed it to the person in line behind her. It seems the world is getting more generous amidst the horrible tragedies that continue to happen in our country. BUT, do these random acts of kindness pose any future benefit? One could agree this, but what I purpose to challenge us about is how much more of a benefit can we give our friends/enemies/family WHOEVER by praying for them.
A couple years ago I had a friend talk to me over messaging. We were talking about a lot of our struggles and right over the internet, she prayed for me via messaging. I had asked for prayers and never would have thought of doing it like that... but how powerful that was. It made such an impact that I started doing this as well. I have prayed for people on their own facebook pages or messages. I've emailed and texted prayers to people before. Is anything too difficult for our GOD? Can He not reach people through internet prayers?
My challenge to you is this. With the growing popularity of "Pay it forward" and "Random acts of kindness", I ask you this... Look for opportunities to pray for others. Pray for the Lord to give you more opportunities to affect the lives of those around you. Facebook, was intended to be something good, but it can and has at times, turned into something toxic. You dont have to scroll down your newsfeed too far to find controversy. I challenge you. Pray for your friends. If you dont feel comfortable typing and leaving a public message, then send a private message and encourage your friends. If someone is having a rough day, pray for them.
A $10 gift card sure if nice, especially unexpected from someone you dont even know.... but those warm fuzzy feelings will eventually fade, maybe even on your way home driving (we all know people are crazy drivers).... but how much more can a prayer impact someone who is hurting, or in need, or feeling alone. Someone who is exhausted, a single mother, struggling....
Lets take the time to pray.... right now
Lord Jesus, You are all mighty, alpha and omega. You are the beginning of everything. You created the world. You created us. You love us so much more than we can ever imagine. You have planned our days before we even knew you. Thank you for giving us all the ability to impact others. Thank you for empowering us with your Holy Spirit. May you bring opportunities for us to encourage and pray for others. Make us salt. Make us shine like a light on a stand. We love you Lord. Amen
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Have you Stalled?
Why do we run away from Conviction? We're ashamed to admit we've done something wrong, or that we have displeased God. We all displease Him. We're all sinners. Right? But is that an excuse?
I've been reading in John 8 and I'd urge you to do the same because God has been teaching me so much that I haven't seen before. In verse 12 Jesus says "I am the light of the world, Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life"... after reading this. I WAS CONVICTED! Have you, as a follower of Christ, ever felt like you are walking in darkness? I sure have. I have felt lonely, hurt, angry, self-consious, afraid... surely I know that I am a believer so how is this so? Does that verse not say that "WHOEVER FOLLOWS ME.... NEVER will walk in darkness"? God's word is true and never changing so how could this be? How can it be that I am a believer of Christ, yet I still have periods of time when I am not walking in the light?
The only explanation is that I had to have turned my back on Christ and stopped following Him. OUCH. Talk about conviction. But how did that happen? How do we get so far away from Christ, that we dont even realize it until we are pulled so far from Him? My friends, it happens so fast, so easily. In this world distractions are everywhere and the world wants to tell you to take your life in your own hands... Let me give you some pointers for making sure you stand strong and you persevere.
-Read God's word DAILY
Why is this such a struggle? We've heard this time and time again but why dont we do it? Why dont we read every morning and give Christ our first fruits? Let me tell you, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, if you are having a problem getting into the word everyday, your problem is not your priorities, your problem is your love. You love yourself more than you love Christ. You love your children more than you love Christ. You love your job, or your books, or your television shows or your friends more than Christ. You're problem isnt that your priorities are wrong, your problem is you need to LOVE GOD. Why is it when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, did he says this "LOVE the Lord your God will ALL your heart ALL your soul and ALL your mind and with all your strength?"
If you're having a hard time getting into the Word, get on your knees. Maybe even right now. Tell God that you want to Love Him with all that you have to give. Be honest with Him, what's holding you back from loving Him more??
-Pray everyday - all day
If you've ever been to my house, you will see that there are scripture verses everywhere. I even have 1 on the dash of my car. When I see them, I pray. Even if its 1 sentence. I pray. To keep my mind focused on the Lord. If i'm cleaning I'll say "Thank you for this house you've provided for us". Or if Im getting food out of the fridge (I have a couple verses on the fridge) I'll say "I am so thankful I have a husband who works so hard to provide this food." or "Thank you for this food"... you get it. It's continuous. It's easy. It's not even close to what our God deserves for what He did for us.
-Get Accountability
Find someone you can talk to daily or weekly about how your relationship with Christ is. That seems like a strange question to ask a friend every week. But if you think about it, when the week is over, how often did you speak with God. How many verses, chapters or books of the bible did you read and study? Did you love God? Did you show Him you trust Him? If you're not asking these questions weekly, you need to start because you're stalling your relationship with Christ. If you arent going forward, which way are you going? Dont stand still....
*The definition of the word Stall: To come to a stand still, to stop running as a result of malfunction. Who has stopped running? Who is malfunctioning?
-Evaluate yourself
I set a goal for each month to try to read through a part of the bible or to do a devotional booklet or to have intimate prayer times a certain number of times a month. At the beginning of the month, I evaluate it. Did I achieve my goal? Did I grow in my relationship with Christ? I cannot say that I have always met my goals. I also cannot say that sometimes when I did, I really grew in my relationship with Christ. That is why its important to ask both of those questions. Am I doing this so I can mark it off on my paper, or am I doing it because I Love God so much, that I have to have that time with Him or I'm easily angered, outspoken, irritated, miserable?
In the valleys of life, don't walk away. God has your life under control, you just need to trust. You need to have faith in God that He is who He says He is. And He's done(or will do) what He says He's going to do. He knows you, your ins and outs. He knows what you need, when you need it. He knows whats best for you, and whats not best for you. He sometimes give us Blessings, and He sometimes takes them away. We have troubles, we have trials, we have hurt, pain, anger, betrayal, loneliness, selfishness... but we STAND STRONG, We cling to Christ. We dont waver. God has got this. He's got your life. He created the world. He made the ocean and the mountains and the animals and He created YOU. There is nothing too hard for Him. "I am the Lord, the God of ALL mankind, is anything to hard for Me?"
Trust Him. Seek Him. He rewards those who seek Him.
I've been reading in John 8 and I'd urge you to do the same because God has been teaching me so much that I haven't seen before. In verse 12 Jesus says "I am the light of the world, Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life"... after reading this. I WAS CONVICTED! Have you, as a follower of Christ, ever felt like you are walking in darkness? I sure have. I have felt lonely, hurt, angry, self-consious, afraid... surely I know that I am a believer so how is this so? Does that verse not say that "WHOEVER FOLLOWS ME.... NEVER will walk in darkness"? God's word is true and never changing so how could this be? How can it be that I am a believer of Christ, yet I still have periods of time when I am not walking in the light?
The only explanation is that I had to have turned my back on Christ and stopped following Him. OUCH. Talk about conviction. But how did that happen? How do we get so far away from Christ, that we dont even realize it until we are pulled so far from Him? My friends, it happens so fast, so easily. In this world distractions are everywhere and the world wants to tell you to take your life in your own hands... Let me give you some pointers for making sure you stand strong and you persevere.
-Read God's word DAILY
Why is this such a struggle? We've heard this time and time again but why dont we do it? Why dont we read every morning and give Christ our first fruits? Let me tell you, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, if you are having a problem getting into the word everyday, your problem is not your priorities, your problem is your love. You love yourself more than you love Christ. You love your children more than you love Christ. You love your job, or your books, or your television shows or your friends more than Christ. You're problem isnt that your priorities are wrong, your problem is you need to LOVE GOD. Why is it when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, did he says this "LOVE the Lord your God will ALL your heart ALL your soul and ALL your mind and with all your strength?"
If you're having a hard time getting into the Word, get on your knees. Maybe even right now. Tell God that you want to Love Him with all that you have to give. Be honest with Him, what's holding you back from loving Him more??
-Pray everyday - all day
If you've ever been to my house, you will see that there are scripture verses everywhere. I even have 1 on the dash of my car. When I see them, I pray. Even if its 1 sentence. I pray. To keep my mind focused on the Lord. If i'm cleaning I'll say "Thank you for this house you've provided for us". Or if Im getting food out of the fridge (I have a couple verses on the fridge) I'll say "I am so thankful I have a husband who works so hard to provide this food." or "Thank you for this food"... you get it. It's continuous. It's easy. It's not even close to what our God deserves for what He did for us.
-Get Accountability
Find someone you can talk to daily or weekly about how your relationship with Christ is. That seems like a strange question to ask a friend every week. But if you think about it, when the week is over, how often did you speak with God. How many verses, chapters or books of the bible did you read and study? Did you love God? Did you show Him you trust Him? If you're not asking these questions weekly, you need to start because you're stalling your relationship with Christ. If you arent going forward, which way are you going? Dont stand still....
*The definition of the word Stall: To come to a stand still, to stop running as a result of malfunction. Who has stopped running? Who is malfunctioning?
-Evaluate yourself
I set a goal for each month to try to read through a part of the bible or to do a devotional booklet or to have intimate prayer times a certain number of times a month. At the beginning of the month, I evaluate it. Did I achieve my goal? Did I grow in my relationship with Christ? I cannot say that I have always met my goals. I also cannot say that sometimes when I did, I really grew in my relationship with Christ. That is why its important to ask both of those questions. Am I doing this so I can mark it off on my paper, or am I doing it because I Love God so much, that I have to have that time with Him or I'm easily angered, outspoken, irritated, miserable?
In the valleys of life, don't walk away. God has your life under control, you just need to trust. You need to have faith in God that He is who He says He is. And He's done(or will do) what He says He's going to do. He knows you, your ins and outs. He knows what you need, when you need it. He knows whats best for you, and whats not best for you. He sometimes give us Blessings, and He sometimes takes them away. We have troubles, we have trials, we have hurt, pain, anger, betrayal, loneliness, selfishness... but we STAND STRONG, We cling to Christ. We dont waver. God has got this. He's got your life. He created the world. He made the ocean and the mountains and the animals and He created YOU. There is nothing too hard for Him. "I am the Lord, the God of ALL mankind, is anything to hard for Me?"
Trust Him. Seek Him. He rewards those who seek Him.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Spice for your Vday!
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Hopefully you are going to get a night out, or a weekend in, or some kind of special time with your spouse to celebrate your marriage. Why not spend some time getting to know each other so much deeper also? I have included some exercises/questions and/or things you can discuss with your spouse to help you really get to know each other better and work together better. You may think, "I've been married for 10 years, why do I need to do something like this"...Remember, we are ever changing. Our needs change, our wants change, our attitude changes, our desires change. If you dont take the time to talk to or ask these things of your spouse, there may be things you dont know and you could easily create distance and grow apart. Try it and see how much fun it can be.
Galatians 5:13
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
*Ask these questions to each other.
If I want to feel loved, I want my spouse to...
I gain comfort when my spouse...
I feel acceptance when my spouse...
During childhood, I knew my parents loved me because...
After an argument, I want my spouse to...
What I like most about myself is...
What I like most about my spouse is...
What I like least about myself is...
What I like least about my spouse is...
When I really want to show my spouse love I...
I wish my spouse would do this more frequently...
The things I like doing are...
The things my spouse likes doing are...
*When you have disagreements evaluate how you respond to the situation. As you read the responses below, think do you Rarely do this, or do you Frequently do this...
1. I recognize and allow for differences between my spouse and I. I know we tend to view things differently.
2. I focus my attention to changing my own behavior, attitude and responses. I plan specific, positive changes I can make.
3. When a problem arises, I am ready to admit that I may be part of the problem. I focus on what I am doing wrong, rather than what my partner is doing wrong.
4. I practice the golden rule as in Matthew 7:12 and I treat my spouse how I would like to be treated.
5. I realize I cannot change my partner. He/She must want to change or my efforts will compound the problem and not solve it.
6. I practice Luke 6:34-35 and give and serve my spouse and expect nothing in return.
7. I try to maintain and improve my relationship with Jesus Christ. (John 14:6, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 John 4:21).
8. I do not continue to bring up arguments from the past. I forgive and forget and deal with 1 current problem at a time. (Matthew 6:34, Ephesians 4:26)
Now, If you tend to fall on the 'Rarely' side of things take some time to think about how you can change in order to answer 'Frequently' instead. God has designed us to be kind and and have good conflict resolution in our marriages. Would you deal the same way with conflict out in public (in the check out line at the store, to your boss, to your neighbors...) as you would at home with your spouse? I can honestly say, I struggled with this in the beginning of my marriage and I did NOT deal with conflict in a respectful manner towards my husband. Do you need to change the way you deal with conflict towards your spouse?
*This is a fun exercise to practice NON VERAL COMMUNICATION. What a fun thing to do tonight ;)
Practice trying to communicate one of the following emotions to your partner. Take turns and see how many you get correct!!
Frustration.....Anger.....Peace.....Happiness.....Fear.....Doubt.....Sexual Interest.....Guilt.....Humility.....Anxiety.....Love.....Discouragement.....Irritation.....Apathy.....Confidence.....Trust.....Pride.....Hurt
Communication is a HUGE part in our marriage and non verbal communication is expressed and received so very differently from men and women. Talk to your spouse about what you felt after this exercise and how you can both communicate effectively nonverbally.
*****I will be writing a blog regarding Communication and teaching how to be a better communicator. If you find yourself feeling like you're not good at communication, but dont know HOW to, keep checking back soon for this new blog*****
*A great exercise to enhance your Biblical aspect of Marriage
Rate how satisfied you are with your Bible Reading with your spouse 0-10.
How important do you think reading is in your Christian life 0-10.
List a few ways you can improve your Bible Reading.
Regarding your Reading, Do you:
Memorize Scripture
Write down your thoughts
Pray about/over what you learned
Look up commentaries
Apply what you read, personally
Share what you learned with others or your spouse
Here are a few passages you can start with TONIGHT:
Hebrews 4:12, James 1:18-25, Psalms 119, Colossians 3:16, Proverbs 6:20-23
*Evaluate how you and your spouse spend time together.
Here is a list of common activities. Decide if you do these activities together, by yourself (one or both of you), or neither.
-Shopping
-Movies
-Church
-Church functions
-Outdoor activities (walks, gardening)
-School functions
-Hobbies
-Devotions
-Praying
-Sports
-Exercise
If you marked a lot of these by yourself, come up with some ways you can do these things together.
Romans 13:8-10
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
My friends, do not wander away from the greatest commandment of all. Do not let your talk become meaningless. Continue to work on your Marriage and your Communication. As followers of Christ, He walks with us. He gives us the power inside us to overcome. Love covers over our sin. And the same power that raised Christ from death, is inside you! Satan wishes nothing more than to destroy your marriage. Don't let him win.
1 Timothy 1:5-6
The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Some have wandered away from these and turned to meaningless talk.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
*Self rating for your Marriage*
February is National Marriage Month as well as Valentine's Day so I thought, what better time to encourage my fellow wives than now. I have 5 years and 1 baby under my belt, but we've done quite a bit of 'figuring out' and therefore, I think I have lots to educate and encourage you with.
Marriage is under attack. Marriage is no longer being fought for. Yet what is God's purpose in marriage? Even if your marriage seems fine, are you fulfilling the purpose God has for your marriage?
19 Hosea 2:19 I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion.
I must first put forth a disclosure: I believe the Bible and everything in it and believe that GOD defined marriage long ago to be between a man and a woman. I am sorry if this is not politically correct, but you need to be upset with God and not me because I didn't write the bible, I just believe it. (Genesis 2)
Communication
Well if there is ONE thing I learned these past 5 years it's that communication is a hard thing to understand. How can a man and a woman be wired SO differently that what we say gets SO jumbled? How can he not KNOW what I mean? Growing up, my mother just KNEW me so well. We would be out at a store and I'd look at a shoe and try it on and say boy these are really cute. We'd walk away and then look at something else, or do something else, I'd forget all about those shoes I had tried on earlier. But not my mother. She did not forget. She would go back to the store and buy those shoes for me and give them for a birthday or christmas or just for anything at all. I grew to expect this. When I dropped those same hints to my husband, it led to nothing. I quickly became frustrated and thought, he must not be listening to me. I could have gotten bitter and angry but instead I decided to bring it to his attention. Boy am I so glad I did. I remember our conversation. As I described this to him I concluded that it must be that my mother KNOWS me so much better than he did as to why he did 'get it'. I then waited for a response. My husband pondered for a minute, then finally responded that he couldn't even remember a time I had even hinted at wanting anything at all. This mad me even more mad but I held it in. I know this man loves me and so we decided to both really open up and describe our needs, our wants and our expectations. This was a monumental conversation in our marriage but I could have easily turned it into an argument had I let my emotions take over. What we gained from this conversation was the ability to read and know each other and I learned to not EXPECT things from him. He doesn't NOT get me those hinted gifts because he doesn't love me. He doesn't get me those gifts because he wasn't paying attention to those things. Gifts are not his love language so why would he think of giving me something to show his love?
(If you havent yet found what your love language is go here http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/)
Communication is so different from each of us and we have to talk to our spouse and tell them what we want. Yes, I'm sure you dreamed of a man who would read your mind and know right when you need a hug, or right when you need to be left alone. Or to know when to need them to find a solution to your problem, rather than just someone to LISTEN to you vent. Men don't think that way, sorry. Tell your spouse what you need and what you want and have the same attitude for them. If you don't understand their expectations either, no one is sure of what to do next and your marriage will suffer.
Expectation
Yes expectations can really hurt our men both mentally and emotionally even if they don't wish to show the emotional side. Men NEED TO FEEL needed and wanted and respected and when we show them that they aren't meeting our expectations, we can damage them. Maybe your expectations are realistic, or maybe they arent. But you must COMMUNICATE them first and then follow through. We also need to realize what our husbands expectations are. My husbands love language is Affirmation. This does not make sense to me. As I said earlier my LL is gifts so it took me a little while to understand HOW to affirm my husband. Let me give you an example: We both have different 'chores' in our house. Scott takes out the trash and brings the dirty clothes downstairs as well as doing all outside work. I would never in a million years think about saying THANK YOU to him for taking out the trash. I do my chores and if he said thanks after I did the dishes I would be like, Thanks? For what? I just don't get it. But I learned that my husband likes to receive praise for the things he does for me. And so, often I tell my husband thank you. Thank you for what you ask? Going to work everyday for us, picking up after himself, cleaning something, or even taking our son while I do something else. Even though it doesn't make sense to you, it's not about making sense, it's about showing love and appreciation and as you grow to UNDERSTAND your husband and his needs, it wont need to make sense. It will make sense when he tells you how much he loves you and appreciates you as his wife. You'll know you're doing something right.
Romance
Ah yes, Romance. For some this is a scary thing. For others you cannot wait for the next opportunity to be romantic. And romance does not always mean sex. Woman tend to want the romantic side of things, dinner and a movie and maybe some cuddling on the couch, but they don't always want what comes after that...Bottom line is this: Your husband needs sex, and he needs it often. If he is not being satisfied by you at home, he will look for ways to be satisfied elsewhere. I am not suggesting that if a husband cheats that it is always our fault as the wife, but I am suggesting that it is our duty to please our husbands. We are supposed to be desirable to our husbands and again communication is key. What is your husbands expectation of your romantic relationship? If you're not sure, you need to ask.
(Song of Solomon 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.)
Leadership
Who holds the reigns in your Marriage? Do you tend to want to control everything or do you let your husband take the lead? Do you trust your husband? One of the most important and valuable gifts you can give your husband, is the gift of prayer. Pray for him. (here is a 31 days of prayer for my husband guide that I use https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/31-days-of-praying-for-your-husband/)
If your husband is not the best 'leader' in your eyes telling him you aren't satisfied with his leadership is NOT the way to get him to become the man you want. Praying for him to be the man GOD WANTS him to be is your best defense. Remember, God put you two together so HE knows who HE wants your husband to become. Maybe your husband needs a supportive, loving, and PRAYING wife behind him?
Ephesians 5:23-24 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Purpose
What is the purpose for your marriage? Paul David Tripp says it the best by stating your marriage purpose is Sanctification. God wants to use your marriage as a way for you to be made Holy. He wants to set you apart. In a world where the divorce rate is over 70% and growing, He wants you to be SET APART. If you KNOW that GOD has brought the two of you together for a purpose, let NO ONE come between you, let NOTHING separate you two and let your LOVE grow and abound in each other as you SERVE Christ.
May this be the Prayer for your marriage:
Philippians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Lord Jesus,
Thank you for your perfect design for marriage. Thank you that you brought us together and created us for our spouses with your purpose in mind. You are an amazing God who shows such grace to your children. I pray that you Bless the person reading this. Touch their heart and their life and help them wherever they may be. Give them patience if their marriage is rocky. Give them strength if they need to hold on. Give them assurance that divorce is NOT your design. Show them your love and show them the path you want for us all. AMEN
Marriage is under attack. Marriage is no longer being fought for. Yet what is God's purpose in marriage? Even if your marriage seems fine, are you fulfilling the purpose God has for your marriage?
19 Hosea 2:19 I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion.
I must first put forth a disclosure: I believe the Bible and everything in it and believe that GOD defined marriage long ago to be between a man and a woman. I am sorry if this is not politically correct, but you need to be upset with God and not me because I didn't write the bible, I just believe it. (Genesis 2)
Communication
Well if there is ONE thing I learned these past 5 years it's that communication is a hard thing to understand. How can a man and a woman be wired SO differently that what we say gets SO jumbled? How can he not KNOW what I mean? Growing up, my mother just KNEW me so well. We would be out at a store and I'd look at a shoe and try it on and say boy these are really cute. We'd walk away and then look at something else, or do something else, I'd forget all about those shoes I had tried on earlier. But not my mother. She did not forget. She would go back to the store and buy those shoes for me and give them for a birthday or christmas or just for anything at all. I grew to expect this. When I dropped those same hints to my husband, it led to nothing. I quickly became frustrated and thought, he must not be listening to me. I could have gotten bitter and angry but instead I decided to bring it to his attention. Boy am I so glad I did. I remember our conversation. As I described this to him I concluded that it must be that my mother KNOWS me so much better than he did as to why he did 'get it'. I then waited for a response. My husband pondered for a minute, then finally responded that he couldn't even remember a time I had even hinted at wanting anything at all. This mad me even more mad but I held it in. I know this man loves me and so we decided to both really open up and describe our needs, our wants and our expectations. This was a monumental conversation in our marriage but I could have easily turned it into an argument had I let my emotions take over. What we gained from this conversation was the ability to read and know each other and I learned to not EXPECT things from him. He doesn't NOT get me those hinted gifts because he doesn't love me. He doesn't get me those gifts because he wasn't paying attention to those things. Gifts are not his love language so why would he think of giving me something to show his love?
(If you havent yet found what your love language is go here http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/)
Communication is so different from each of us and we have to talk to our spouse and tell them what we want. Yes, I'm sure you dreamed of a man who would read your mind and know right when you need a hug, or right when you need to be left alone. Or to know when to need them to find a solution to your problem, rather than just someone to LISTEN to you vent. Men don't think that way, sorry. Tell your spouse what you need and what you want and have the same attitude for them. If you don't understand their expectations either, no one is sure of what to do next and your marriage will suffer.
Expectation
Yes expectations can really hurt our men both mentally and emotionally even if they don't wish to show the emotional side. Men NEED TO FEEL needed and wanted and respected and when we show them that they aren't meeting our expectations, we can damage them. Maybe your expectations are realistic, or maybe they arent. But you must COMMUNICATE them first and then follow through. We also need to realize what our husbands expectations are. My husbands love language is Affirmation. This does not make sense to me. As I said earlier my LL is gifts so it took me a little while to understand HOW to affirm my husband. Let me give you an example: We both have different 'chores' in our house. Scott takes out the trash and brings the dirty clothes downstairs as well as doing all outside work. I would never in a million years think about saying THANK YOU to him for taking out the trash. I do my chores and if he said thanks after I did the dishes I would be like, Thanks? For what? I just don't get it. But I learned that my husband likes to receive praise for the things he does for me. And so, often I tell my husband thank you. Thank you for what you ask? Going to work everyday for us, picking up after himself, cleaning something, or even taking our son while I do something else. Even though it doesn't make sense to you, it's not about making sense, it's about showing love and appreciation and as you grow to UNDERSTAND your husband and his needs, it wont need to make sense. It will make sense when he tells you how much he loves you and appreciates you as his wife. You'll know you're doing something right.
Romance
Ah yes, Romance. For some this is a scary thing. For others you cannot wait for the next opportunity to be romantic. And romance does not always mean sex. Woman tend to want the romantic side of things, dinner and a movie and maybe some cuddling on the couch, but they don't always want what comes after that...Bottom line is this: Your husband needs sex, and he needs it often. If he is not being satisfied by you at home, he will look for ways to be satisfied elsewhere. I am not suggesting that if a husband cheats that it is always our fault as the wife, but I am suggesting that it is our duty to please our husbands. We are supposed to be desirable to our husbands and again communication is key. What is your husbands expectation of your romantic relationship? If you're not sure, you need to ask.
(Song of Solomon 1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.)
Leadership
Who holds the reigns in your Marriage? Do you tend to want to control everything or do you let your husband take the lead? Do you trust your husband? One of the most important and valuable gifts you can give your husband, is the gift of prayer. Pray for him. (here is a 31 days of prayer for my husband guide that I use https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/31-days-of-praying-for-your-husband/)
If your husband is not the best 'leader' in your eyes telling him you aren't satisfied with his leadership is NOT the way to get him to become the man you want. Praying for him to be the man GOD WANTS him to be is your best defense. Remember, God put you two together so HE knows who HE wants your husband to become. Maybe your husband needs a supportive, loving, and PRAYING wife behind him?
Ephesians 5:23-24 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Purpose
What is the purpose for your marriage? Paul David Tripp says it the best by stating your marriage purpose is Sanctification. God wants to use your marriage as a way for you to be made Holy. He wants to set you apart. In a world where the divorce rate is over 70% and growing, He wants you to be SET APART. If you KNOW that GOD has brought the two of you together for a purpose, let NO ONE come between you, let NOTHING separate you two and let your LOVE grow and abound in each other as you SERVE Christ.
May this be the Prayer for your marriage:
Philippians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Lord Jesus,
Thank you for your perfect design for marriage. Thank you that you brought us together and created us for our spouses with your purpose in mind. You are an amazing God who shows such grace to your children. I pray that you Bless the person reading this. Touch their heart and their life and help them wherever they may be. Give them patience if their marriage is rocky. Give them strength if they need to hold on. Give them assurance that divorce is NOT your design. Show them your love and show them the path you want for us all. AMEN
Thursday, January 24, 2013
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