I get tons of questions from new moms regarding newborn sleep (or lack thereof). I figured I'd write about my experience to help all of you new moms.
There are a million different takes on sleep training from scheduled, cry it out, never wake a sleeping baby, all the way to do nothing at all and let them sleep when they want. This is just my take and the way I felt it worked best for my family.
When my son was born I knew I wanted to breastfeed him. I thought it would be very simple, he's hungry, I nurse.... It wasn't. The nurses at the hospital make you feel as though you should be nursing non stop. They'd come in every hour and ask "When's the last time he nursed?" and "For how long?". Sometimes I'd make something up because I just couldn't remember how long. I mean, I'd just given birth after 24 hours of labor with no sleep the day before. Going home I tried to continue to pattern of nursing often. To add to this, about a week after he was born we discovered he had jaundice and the Dr recommended I nurse every 3 hours at night and every 2 hours during the day. So this became my routine for the next 3 weeks. It wasn't every 2 hours on the dot, but almost every time we were close, my son would let me know anyway. He'd be screaming and so I'd nurse him. At 4 weeks he'd gained a ton of weight and got rid of the jaundice so I wanted to get some sort of normalcy in our routine. I stopped waking him at night but he woke on his own, apparently he had gotten used to every 3 hours. Some times we wouldn't even make it 2 hours before he woke. By 6 weeks I was exhausted! Mentally and physically and very sleep deprived. He would only nap with me on my chest and it seemed he wanted to nurse non stop, which had me in a zombie like state, a messy house, and always hungry because I couldn't even make time for making meals. I knew something had to change or else I didn't know if I'd ever be able to go anywhere or do anything. And plus, my son wasn't happy. He was crying a lot and very fussy everyday. I wanted something to be better for him.
A friend told me about babywise and I thought to myself, 'well it cant get any worst'. I decided I would try it for 1 week and see the results. I committed to do it exactly the way it was supposed to be done no cheating. Here's what happened:
The first day I set an alarm and I woke him up at 7:30 and nursed him right away. It had been a rough night of lots of waking, but I had committed to doing this. I wasn't happy about 7:30 but I made some coffee and went with it. He was awake about 1 hour when I noticed him rubbing his eyes. Perfect I thought, there my cue! I swaddled him up tight and laid him down to go to sleep in his crib. He hadn't been sleeping in the crib much at this point because he only wanted to sleep with me. He cried about 3 minutes and I went in and put a pacifier in his mouth and walked out. A few minutes later he started crying again, I waited a couple minutes and went in and did the same. This time I got on my knees and reached over the top of the crib and held the pacifier in his mouth, then I rubbed his forehead at the same time. He fell asleep quickly and I walked out. My son never had a problem waking up early. He was a good sleeper almost immediately as I tried to establish this babywise schedule.
When the 3 hour mark came up (on the dot) I woke him up and nursed him immediately. We continued this 3 hour cycle all day until it was evening (the typical screamfest every night). I laid him down to go to sleep and he cried maybe a total of 5 minutes, I put his pacifier in and he went right to sleep around 9:30. He slept uninterrupted until 1 in the morning. This was amazing especially when you are used to 1.5 hours of sleep at a time. I decided from that moment that I was going to commit to the babywise plan. I continued to wake him at the exact same time every morning 7:30 and continued to same 3 hour routine until his normal bedtime.
My son took to the routine wonderfully. It was like he was aching for a schedule. After 1 week I would say he was almost perfect. Awake for 1 hour, sleep for 2 hours all day until bedtime. He was still waking 2 times a night, but at least he was sleeping in this crib and I could actually, cook, clean, and even possibly get away to the store by myself (AHH!!!)
When my daughter came along I knew I would do babywise with her and start immediately to get her eating every 3 hours. This was very easy for my daughter because she wasn't really interested in nursing. She was very calm, didn't cry much, and content with being in my arms (which mommy was fine with too) She didn't leave my side for the first week I think! Her sleeping pattern was way off, but as far as nursing every 3 hours, we started right away. It was hard at first because she wouldn't sleep for long periods of time. 40 minutes sometimes and then be awake. Not hungry, just awake. I had to follow *her* schedule for the first few weeks. She had the hardest time falling asleep. She fought sleep every time and I don't like to let my kids cry so I chose to get her to sleep anyway I could. Some times that was nursing her, most of the time that was holding her and walking around my room. At 5 weeks I had to get back to normal and begin doing bible study and going back to working occasionally so I really needed her to be predictable. I couldn't keep locking myself in my bedroom to walk her to sleep and leave my toddler roaming around the house. I decided I was going to have to let her cry it out to get her to go to sleep. At first I started the same things I did with my son. She did not like the pacifier. I would try rubbing her head, that didn't work either, just made her more mad. I would try getting her to sleep in my arms, then lay her down, she'd wake 5-10 minutes later realizing I wasn't there. All this time, my toddler is where? I realized I had to do something different for the sake of both my kids. I had to walk away. I hated this part. It goes against our mother instincts to leave our crying babies, but that was what I knew was best for me to parent both my kids.
My daughter was much harder to get on a schedule than my son was. He took to it almost immediately. My daughter took probably a good 6 weeks for her to get the schedule down. She had a difficult time sleeping all the way to the 3 hour mark with frequent wakings. She would wake early, and not because she was hungry. I kept on, laying her down when she showed she was tired and she very gradually started to sleep longer than 45 minutes. She is 6 months old now and is perfect on the 3 hour schedule, taking 3 naps a day. It was a much different experience with her than *training* my son.
This is one take on sleep training and the one I personally chose. You are welcome to read, and choose to do something different. I am here to answer any questions you may have. I'm a better mother to my kids, when I sleep and my kids are also happier when they are well rested. It may be easy when you have 1 child to say "we just got lucky he/she's a good baby"... but I firmly believe after having 2 babies with totally different styles and doing babywise with both, that the amount of sleep they get is the amount they require as babies and helps them to be very happy and content.
It is also my opinion that my son learned to trust he would always get food when he woke up. He never cried for hunger - ever. He woke up happy and KNEW he would get fed because it was a routine. It was predictable. This helped me as a mother because anytime my son DID cry, I knew something was wrong.
This is my babywise journey with both my kids. I am a well rested momma and 2 babies sleeping through the night and they both NEVER cry unless something is wrong! Babywise has made my kids happier and has made this momma's life easier as well!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Friday, June 6, 2014
Breastfeeding 101
Ive heard so many stories of Mommies wanting to breastfeed but having this issue or that issue and stopping. So I want to address some basic breastfeeding issues to encourage you all and give some tips to help things to go smoother for new and expecting Mommy's.
First off, the labor and birthing process is also strenuous on baby. Whether you have an all natural labor, or an emergency c section, Labor is tough on baby's and when we introduce med's, they can effect our baby's also. This can make baby appear and act very tired and fatigued immediately after birth, which can delay your nursing relationship. Whatever happens, after birth, get baby to latch immediately. Things that will help to get baby to latch right away will be getting baby doing skin to skin, and making the environment quiet and calm. You may have to ask your nursing staff and family to leave at this point. You have every right to ask for an hour of bonding time with your baby after their birth.
Sometimes, positioning is very difficult to figure out at first. Find a position in which you are comfortable and feel as though you can control baby, as well as a position in which your baby can latch appropriately. I used a pillow against my stomach and laid baby on it while having the head of the bed up so I was in a semi reclined position. I personally find that the Cradle and Crosscradle position work best for me in the first 3-4 weeks.
A major concern I hear is that while in the hospital, the staff, the nurse, family, or whoever, gets concerned that baby isn't getting any milk from mom because "her milk hasn't come in". First thing I need to address is that for the rest of your life, you are going to have someone trying to tell you what you should do/what they did/question what you are doing...As a parent, you will get the most unwelcomed advise you've ever wanted (or didn't want). This is something you should get used to, and figure out how you'd like to handle it. I personally have no problem when people have a different opinion than mine. I listened to different opinions and concerns for the first probably year of my son's life. Then I just got tired of it. I would politely tell people "thanks but we are doing it this way". I think that response had decreased the amount of "advise" I get and I was pleasantly surprised. I do not know everything and I often need to ask questions and get others' prospective. But if I don't ask, I probably don't want advise.
OK so back to the first days...The entire breast production/milk system is a beautifully designed system. I wont go into huge details but certain hormones from the labor and birth process trigger production of colostrum and milk production as well as when your baby first latches, their saliva triggers either colostrum in the first few days, or after your milk 'comes in', it triggers milk production to the level of your baby's satisfaction. If in the first few days of your baby's life, you succumb to allowing formula to supplement, your baby will not nurse for long on your breast which will not trigger the production of the amount of milk your baby needs, because they are already full on formula. Your body is creating just the right amount of colostrum your baby needs for the first few days. And if your body ISN'T producing the right amount, having baby nurse triggers your body to make more. Its actually a really easy formula (for lack of better words). Baby is hungry = nurse. Not enough milk = nurse. The solution is always to nurse!
Another problem with bottle feeding in general, is that formula or breast milk comes out much faster in a bottle than it does at the breast, so if there is continued bottle feeding in the first 2 months of baby's life, they will begin to prefer the bottle and not nurse as long = less milk production which can lead to the common complaint I hear of "I just magically dried up one day".
There are times when nursing can become painful. There may be issues with your baby's latch that cause you pain. If you cannot change positions and figure out how to get rid of the pain, consider seeing a Lactation Consultant. There is a great place in Massillon Ohio called The Breastfeeding Center. Their consultation costs $30 and you can go back as many times as you need for that price. A can of formula cost more than that. Spending that $30 on a consultation can fix your breastfeeding issues will save you TONS of money in the future on formula if you don't get the help.
And lastly feeding on a schedule really helps to regulate so your body knows when to produce and how much. I aimed for feeding every 2.5 hours for the first month of my son's life. With my daughter she wasn't as *into* nursing as he was, and so I started her every 3 hours. If I had to go somewhere (grocery store, appointment etc) I'd schedule it right after I would nurse her if I had to leave her, but I tried to never have to leave her. If I ever had to be away from her at a time where I would normally nurse her, I pumped instead. This is key to keeping your supply. You cant give breast milk while you are gone and not express milk from yourself and expect your supply to maintain the same milk production your baby needs.
Milk production works on supply and demand. So nurse your baby whenever he/she wants to nurse and aim for every 3 hours at least. If baby is asleep for more than 3 hours (during the day), I personally woke them up to nurse. This gave me longer stretches of sleep at night too and kept my babies from getting their days and nights mixed up, but that's a blog for another time.
Please feel free to ask me any question you have and please share this information so that other expectant mommies can get the best start in their breastfeeding relationships with their little ones. God Bless
First off, the labor and birthing process is also strenuous on baby. Whether you have an all natural labor, or an emergency c section, Labor is tough on baby's and when we introduce med's, they can effect our baby's also. This can make baby appear and act very tired and fatigued immediately after birth, which can delay your nursing relationship. Whatever happens, after birth, get baby to latch immediately. Things that will help to get baby to latch right away will be getting baby doing skin to skin, and making the environment quiet and calm. You may have to ask your nursing staff and family to leave at this point. You have every right to ask for an hour of bonding time with your baby after their birth.
Sometimes, positioning is very difficult to figure out at first. Find a position in which you are comfortable and feel as though you can control baby, as well as a position in which your baby can latch appropriately. I used a pillow against my stomach and laid baby on it while having the head of the bed up so I was in a semi reclined position. I personally find that the Cradle and Crosscradle position work best for me in the first 3-4 weeks.
A major concern I hear is that while in the hospital, the staff, the nurse, family, or whoever, gets concerned that baby isn't getting any milk from mom because "her milk hasn't come in". First thing I need to address is that for the rest of your life, you are going to have someone trying to tell you what you should do/what they did/question what you are doing...As a parent, you will get the most unwelcomed advise you've ever wanted (or didn't want). This is something you should get used to, and figure out how you'd like to handle it. I personally have no problem when people have a different opinion than mine. I listened to different opinions and concerns for the first probably year of my son's life. Then I just got tired of it. I would politely tell people "thanks but we are doing it this way". I think that response had decreased the amount of "advise" I get and I was pleasantly surprised. I do not know everything and I often need to ask questions and get others' prospective. But if I don't ask, I probably don't want advise.
OK so back to the first days...The entire breast production/milk system is a beautifully designed system. I wont go into huge details but certain hormones from the labor and birth process trigger production of colostrum and milk production as well as when your baby first latches, their saliva triggers either colostrum in the first few days, or after your milk 'comes in', it triggers milk production to the level of your baby's satisfaction. If in the first few days of your baby's life, you succumb to allowing formula to supplement, your baby will not nurse for long on your breast which will not trigger the production of the amount of milk your baby needs, because they are already full on formula. Your body is creating just the right amount of colostrum your baby needs for the first few days. And if your body ISN'T producing the right amount, having baby nurse triggers your body to make more. Its actually a really easy formula (for lack of better words). Baby is hungry = nurse. Not enough milk = nurse. The solution is always to nurse!
Another problem with bottle feeding in general, is that formula or breast milk comes out much faster in a bottle than it does at the breast, so if there is continued bottle feeding in the first 2 months of baby's life, they will begin to prefer the bottle and not nurse as long = less milk production which can lead to the common complaint I hear of "I just magically dried up one day".
There are times when nursing can become painful. There may be issues with your baby's latch that cause you pain. If you cannot change positions and figure out how to get rid of the pain, consider seeing a Lactation Consultant. There is a great place in Massillon Ohio called The Breastfeeding Center. Their consultation costs $30 and you can go back as many times as you need for that price. A can of formula cost more than that. Spending that $30 on a consultation can fix your breastfeeding issues will save you TONS of money in the future on formula if you don't get the help.
And lastly feeding on a schedule really helps to regulate so your body knows when to produce and how much. I aimed for feeding every 2.5 hours for the first month of my son's life. With my daughter she wasn't as *into* nursing as he was, and so I started her every 3 hours. If I had to go somewhere (grocery store, appointment etc) I'd schedule it right after I would nurse her if I had to leave her, but I tried to never have to leave her. If I ever had to be away from her at a time where I would normally nurse her, I pumped instead. This is key to keeping your supply. You cant give breast milk while you are gone and not express milk from yourself and expect your supply to maintain the same milk production your baby needs.
Milk production works on supply and demand. So nurse your baby whenever he/she wants to nurse and aim for every 3 hours at least. If baby is asleep for more than 3 hours (during the day), I personally woke them up to nurse. This gave me longer stretches of sleep at night too and kept my babies from getting their days and nights mixed up, but that's a blog for another time.
Please feel free to ask me any question you have and please share this information so that other expectant mommies can get the best start in their breastfeeding relationships with their little ones. God Bless
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Dear teenage girls
Lets be straight... Men think Sexually. Its true. And as a Woman, its hard to understand this. I didn't understand this when I was a teenager and I wish I had. Only when I married and discussed this openly with my spouse, did I even get a glimpse into the mind of a man. I dressed way too provocatively, and this put me in situations I could have avoided. Since woman aren't visually minded, it's not something we think about. In the summer when we put our shorts on, we aren't thinking, "Are these going to cause someone to lust or put sex on their minds". I was never instructed or told of the dangers of what my immodest behavior would do until I was in college and a professor mentioned it to me. It was very strange to me and made me consider my clothing from then on. I am writing this so that you will too. Please read and consider to take the challenge to protect yourself and help young boys/men to contain their sexual thoughts and minds.
Dear teenage girls, please cover up
Seems I cannot go anywhere without seeing way too short shorts and cleavage on young high school girls. I recently saw a picture that said "its not my fault if my bare legs and shoulders arouse you". We have become so indecent in our society and want to blame the men. Well, it may not be your fault they get aroused, but it does happens and it will continue to happen because Men think sexually. Men have desires, and young men are curious. And believe it or not, they cannot control where their brain wonders. Skin can and will arouse them, tight fitting clothes, even a glimpse of your chest as you bend over to pick something up is enough to cause their minds to think of sex. I think instead of putting blame on someone we need to ask ourselves these things:
1. Is it my desire to cause someone other than my spouse to think sexually due to my appearance? (this applies to single ladies)
2. Is there something I could do differently to eliminate or decrease this from happening?
3. If you are in a relationship or engaged, is it your desire to protect yourself and your spouse from temptation?
4. If you are single is it your responsibility to protect and cover yourself from the wrong attention that will present itself due to immodest dress?
5. Is it your desire to want to run away from temptation in this area of immodestly and honor the Lord with your clothing?
Hear me Dear Teenage girl. We need to be dignified. By showing too much, we present ourselves as objects. Objects that men can use in their minds sexually. And believe me, they will. You may not even know it happened. You may not even realize what your shorts look like in the back.
We are created in the image of God. We are beautiful. I strive to live my life as the Proverbs 31 woman. In verse 12 it says "she brings him good, not harm all the days of her life". I brought harm on lots of young men as I dressed very inappropriately for a long time. I wish I would have kept my body, that image, sacred and I hope to instill in my daughter a desire to want to keep herself modest to save all of herself, for her future husband, for his eyes only. I pray for you teenage girl, cover yourself with dignity and may 'all the days of your life' be preparing you for the marriage only God has for you.
Dear teenage girls, please cover up
Seems I cannot go anywhere without seeing way too short shorts and cleavage on young high school girls. I recently saw a picture that said "its not my fault if my bare legs and shoulders arouse you". We have become so indecent in our society and want to blame the men. Well, it may not be your fault they get aroused, but it does happens and it will continue to happen because Men think sexually. Men have desires, and young men are curious. And believe it or not, they cannot control where their brain wonders. Skin can and will arouse them, tight fitting clothes, even a glimpse of your chest as you bend over to pick something up is enough to cause their minds to think of sex. I think instead of putting blame on someone we need to ask ourselves these things:
1. Is it my desire to cause someone other than my spouse to think sexually due to my appearance? (this applies to single ladies)
2. Is there something I could do differently to eliminate or decrease this from happening?
3. If you are in a relationship or engaged, is it your desire to protect yourself and your spouse from temptation?
4. If you are single is it your responsibility to protect and cover yourself from the wrong attention that will present itself due to immodest dress?
5. Is it your desire to want to run away from temptation in this area of immodestly and honor the Lord with your clothing?
Hear me Dear Teenage girl. We need to be dignified. By showing too much, we present ourselves as objects. Objects that men can use in their minds sexually. And believe me, they will. You may not even know it happened. You may not even realize what your shorts look like in the back.
We are created in the image of God. We are beautiful. I strive to live my life as the Proverbs 31 woman. In verse 12 it says "she brings him good, not harm all the days of her life". I brought harm on lots of young men as I dressed very inappropriately for a long time. I wish I would have kept my body, that image, sacred and I hope to instill in my daughter a desire to want to keep herself modest to save all of herself, for her future husband, for his eyes only. I pray for you teenage girl, cover yourself with dignity and may 'all the days of your life' be preparing you for the marriage only God has for you.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
It's ALL hard
This is something that has been on my mind for MONTHS. I've finally had time to write about it so I hope you enjoy.
It seems that there are stages to our mothering boasts. Long ago there was the SAHM boast. Once you could afford or make it work to be a SAHM it was the thing to talk about and be proud of. "I'M a SAHM". And if you happened to be a SAHM that also home schooled, well there you go! Everyone strived to be that perfect mother.
Then came the opposite, the working mother boast. If you were a working mother and you cooked/cleaned took the kids everywhere and still were able to step out in public with makeup on and not in sweat pants, now THAT was what it was about! How did she do it?
Next came the lackadaisical boast. These are the moms who talked about all the things they DIDN'T do and that they were fine with it. You've seen it, the moms who say "I give my kid chocolate milk and fruit roll ups while they are planting in front of the TV watching a PG-13 movie and I don't care I'm no Susie Home Maker".
Which brings us to the present... I feel we are currently on a difficulty boast. All we want to talk about is what is more difficult. "I went all natural and unless you go all natural too then you are a wuss". Or "I had a c/s and that's way worst than your 'tear' so stop complaining".... I have 2 kids, I have 4 kids, my kids wont sleep, my babies are close together, my babies are 4 years apart, I work, I don't work... you get it. Why do we feel the need for a public acknowledgement of our achievements (or lack there of)? Why is it so important to us that someone else say "Wow, that must be tough. Hang in there"? Let me encourage ALL the moms out there whether you stay at home, have 5 kids under the age of 5, you have an all natural delivery, make all your baby food from scratch or you feed your kids fruit roll ups....
It IS difficult. Being pregnant is difficult. Having a baby is difficult (whatever way you do it). Having 1 baby is difficult. Having 4 babies is difficult. Being a SAHM is difficult. Being a working mother is difficult. Making your own baby food is difficult. Going to the grocery store is difficult. Home schooling your kids is difficult. Putting your kids on the bus is difficult. BEING A MOTHER IS DIFFICULT! Whatever stage you may be in, its hard. Rather than trying to make your predicament seem harder than anothers, can we all agree that what we do everyday is HARD! But we are mothers for a reason. God knew exactly what He was doing when He blessed you with your child(ren). He knew you would be the one who would do the best job at training and encouraging your child. He gave you the strengths, personality, the humor or whatever it is you use to help you get through each day, God knew you needed that.
I am reminded of Hebrews chapter 12 where we read about the example of God's disciple. It is never easy or pleasant in the beginning but verse 11 tells us it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. Let us focus not on how difficult our current situation is and lets remind ourselves that we can do it. God wants us and has equipped us to do it. Yes its hard. Yes some days are great. Yes other days we want to pull our hair out. But we survive. Our kids survive. And its worth it to see that 'harvest of righteousness' present itself as our children become independent. Let us thank the Lord for the opportunity we have to be parents and thank Him, yes, for the difficult times.
Lord thank you for entrusting us with such great responsibility. Thank you for blessing us so greatly and allowing us to be parents. Thank you for Your perfect will and timing in bringing them to us. We ask that you help us to be better parents....To be better teachers....To be better examples....To lead our children to you. We know that you know our struggles. We know that you know our daily tasks and challenges. We ask you give us strength and patience each day. We love you Lord and ask these things in Your Holy Name.
It seems that there are stages to our mothering boasts. Long ago there was the SAHM boast. Once you could afford or make it work to be a SAHM it was the thing to talk about and be proud of. "I'M a SAHM". And if you happened to be a SAHM that also home schooled, well there you go! Everyone strived to be that perfect mother.
Then came the opposite, the working mother boast. If you were a working mother and you cooked/cleaned took the kids everywhere and still were able to step out in public with makeup on and not in sweat pants, now THAT was what it was about! How did she do it?
Next came the lackadaisical boast. These are the moms who talked about all the things they DIDN'T do and that they were fine with it. You've seen it, the moms who say "I give my kid chocolate milk and fruit roll ups while they are planting in front of the TV watching a PG-13 movie and I don't care I'm no Susie Home Maker".
Which brings us to the present... I feel we are currently on a difficulty boast. All we want to talk about is what is more difficult. "I went all natural and unless you go all natural too then you are a wuss". Or "I had a c/s and that's way worst than your 'tear' so stop complaining".... I have 2 kids, I have 4 kids, my kids wont sleep, my babies are close together, my babies are 4 years apart, I work, I don't work... you get it. Why do we feel the need for a public acknowledgement of our achievements (or lack there of)? Why is it so important to us that someone else say "Wow, that must be tough. Hang in there"? Let me encourage ALL the moms out there whether you stay at home, have 5 kids under the age of 5, you have an all natural delivery, make all your baby food from scratch or you feed your kids fruit roll ups....
It IS difficult. Being pregnant is difficult. Having a baby is difficult (whatever way you do it). Having 1 baby is difficult. Having 4 babies is difficult. Being a SAHM is difficult. Being a working mother is difficult. Making your own baby food is difficult. Going to the grocery store is difficult. Home schooling your kids is difficult. Putting your kids on the bus is difficult. BEING A MOTHER IS DIFFICULT! Whatever stage you may be in, its hard. Rather than trying to make your predicament seem harder than anothers, can we all agree that what we do everyday is HARD! But we are mothers for a reason. God knew exactly what He was doing when He blessed you with your child(ren). He knew you would be the one who would do the best job at training and encouraging your child. He gave you the strengths, personality, the humor or whatever it is you use to help you get through each day, God knew you needed that.
I am reminded of Hebrews chapter 12 where we read about the example of God's disciple. It is never easy or pleasant in the beginning but verse 11 tells us it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. Let us focus not on how difficult our current situation is and lets remind ourselves that we can do it. God wants us and has equipped us to do it. Yes its hard. Yes some days are great. Yes other days we want to pull our hair out. But we survive. Our kids survive. And its worth it to see that 'harvest of righteousness' present itself as our children become independent. Let us thank the Lord for the opportunity we have to be parents and thank Him, yes, for the difficult times.
Lord thank you for entrusting us with such great responsibility. Thank you for blessing us so greatly and allowing us to be parents. Thank you for Your perfect will and timing in bringing them to us. We ask that you help us to be better parents....To be better teachers....To be better examples....To lead our children to you. We know that you know our struggles. We know that you know our daily tasks and challenges. We ask you give us strength and patience each day. We love you Lord and ask these things in Your Holy Name.
Friday, December 27, 2013
The birth of Adora Noelle
The birth story of my daughter didn't start 9 months ago, but it started years ago when my husband and I first decided to start our family. We figured getting pregnant would be easy but it was not. After a long time of waiting, praying, crying and fertility help we became pregnant. We were over the moon excited and that excitement drove us through the entire pregnancy. Every kick, every stretch, every time we heard the heartbeat... it just kept us going until we could finally meet our son. At 37 weeks, he came. We never had the anticipation of waiting and wondering when he would come. At 37 weeks, we weren't quite 'ready'. But we were so ready to be parents we couldn't be any happier.
We decided to not use any form of birth control besides my breastfeeding which i did exclusively (no other food at all) until my son was 7.5 months old. I never had my cycle return but have been told that is common when breastfeeding. It is right around this time that I conceived.
We found out we were pregnant again on april fools day :) I was shocked. All the trouble we had getting pregnant before, and I was already pregnant again. As soon as my pregnancy was confirmed I knew I wanted a different birth experience than I had with my son. I did not want to have another Cesarean. I started researching and looking up all the recent studies and read and spoke with numerous mothers who had vbac's themselves (vaginal birth after Cesarean). I confirmed with my provider that they were in support of me and on I went on my vbac journey. The more knowledge I gained, the more confident I got that I knew my body could do it. I was made to give birth. We attended natural birth classes and I hired a doula who was amazing.
At 37 weeks I started to get excited. Id never been pregnant longer than this and I was already much bigger and lower. Everyone who saw me said "you'll never make it to your due date". I also started having lots of uncomfortable contractions that sometimes would last all day but go away at night.
Well 39 weeks came and went and I reached my due date. I was exhausted at this point but I wanted to trust my body. I was also in a lot of discomfort at this point. Everyday it got harder and harder.
At my next appointment I was told I could schedule another c-section if I wanted. I was already 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced, I said just because im at my due date doesn't mean id just give up now. I was told that was ok but I needed to get an ultrasound (BPP) to make sure baby and I were ok. So at 41 weeks I got the ultrasound that showed we were great but baby was 9# and 10ozs. After the ultrasound the Dr told me that with the baby being that big I should consider another c section that she most likely wouldnt fit and if she did, she would probably dislocate her shoulder. I dont believe that ultrasounds at this far in the game are very accurate, and especially this one because the ultrasound tech was having a very hard time doing the ultrasound and she told us she wasnt very confident in her findings.
At 41 weeks and 3 days a Dr came in to see me (instead of midwife) and said that the practice was not recommending I have a vbac anymore and unless I did another c section, that i'd have to go AMA (against medical advise) and sign a liability consent form. After discussing with my husband and doula, we decided to go for an induction 2 days later. I already did not have the support of my Dr's and the longer I waited the more pushy they would get.
Wednesday morning my induction started. Before they turned on the medicine my husband and mother and I said a prayer for everything to go smoothly and to keep our baby healthy. A resident came in and told me that I couldn't get in the tub due to hospital policy. My husband said "there isn't a hospital policy on that!". My nurse then confirmed there was not a policy. She walked out of the room and shortly after a Dr came in (who I really was not fond of) and reminded me that I was going AMA and that she 'hasnt had to do that in 3 years' and she's had to involve the hospital staff about 'my situation'. She also told me I could not get in the tub (which was very important to me) because she's in charge and i'm high risk. I politely argued with her that everyone was fine with me having a VBAC until monday (2 days ago) and now I have all these restrictions on my birth. She still would not allow the tub and left the room after this.
They did an ultrasound to confirm baby was head down and this revealed she was posterior as well (same as my first baby). I was very disappointed to hear this because I had tried to do everything possible to keep her from getting into this position (chiropractic care, exercises...). This time however, I did know of some things I could do during labor to try to get her to turn and since my water was still intact I felt confident.
Once pitocin was started, things were extremely slow. I continued to have sporadic contractions that never really amounted to anything for hours. I tried using the breast pump to pick things up and it didnt help either. They turned the dose up every chance they could but nothing was really happening. Once shift change happened (8 hours later), a new nurse came on and she was AMAZING. She read my birth plan and was in total support of me. She said the new Dr who came on wouldn't mind me getting in the tub and that she was going to be there to help me and support me. She turned the pitocin up to almost the highest it could go (19) and soon after my labor kicked in. I think my body relaxed with her and I knew I was finally supported. My labor was beautiful. My husband was my rock.
I rotated from being on the birth ball, all fours, the toilet, and sitting upright on the bed. We thought she may have turned because there was a big bulge in the middle top of my stomach that we thought was her bum. I dilated pretty quickly and things were starting to get intense about 4-5 hours later, I asked to get in the tub. My nurse didn't even walk out to confirm with the new Dr, she said that's fine and got the water ready. I was about 5 cms at this point and baby was still a little high up (-2). My monitor's never stay in place since my belly is so big, they always have a hard time finding babies heart rate. While in the tub, my nurse leaned over in the water and held the monitor to get babies heart beat each contraction. She truly was the best nurse I could have asked for.
I had also made up note cards with encouraging sayings and verses on them and my mom read them to me during contractions. This really helped me to relax and focus. While in the water I felt I had to use the restroom so I got out and got to the toilet just in time. My body 'cleaned itself out' at the same time I had contractions. It was incredible the way I couldn't control it and my body just took over the 'pushing'. I know that seems like TMI but it was such a different feeling from anything in my first birth that was not natural, I felt my body was actually doing what it was supposed to do this time around. Things started to really intensify after this. I had to get back out to use the restroom a few times, but I was in the tub for about 2-3 hours, it felt amazing and I was able to relax through my contractions. Things were really picking up and I started having a hard time coping with contractions and back labor. I got out of the tub and tried to walk or get on the ball but it hurt too bad. I got in the bed on my side and it continued to hurt pretty bad. After another 30 minutes I said I needed to do something for the pain in my back. I was also shaking uncontrollably it was hard for me to concentrate on anything else. It was getting unbearable and the hot pack was no longer working. I decided on an epidural to allow my body to relax. At this point I was almost 7 cms dilated. After the epidural I tried to lay down and take a nap. I could still feel my back on the left side and after about 20 minutes the pain was back. They had to turn the epidural up a lot more and I didn't like this feeling at all, but I couldn't stand the back pain so it was the better choice. I again tried to sleep but wasn't able to. My support team needed to rest so I just stayed in bed and let everyone else sleep and I prayed. I prayed for strength. I prayed for my baby to be in the right position. I prayed for my baby's heartbeat to stay strong. I prayed for things to go perfectly and for my baby to descend.
All of a sudden I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach except without the pain. I was unsure of what happened and pushed on my belly to get the baby to move and make sure she was ok. She moved but I started to feel a warm gush and realized my water had just broken. The nurse came in very soon and helped 'clean up'. She informed me I had lost a ton more mucus and it was "more than she's ever seen in a long time". I was too numb at this point to move effectively so we decided to turn the epidural way down, get me into a position to help baby turn and allow me to be able to feel more. An hour or so later she checked me and I was 9 cms and said baby had moved WAY DOWN. I was so excited at this point. I felt so confident my body was doing what it was supposed to do. She got the squatting bar up on the bed and dropped the legs down so I could sit upright and lean over the ball to encourage my body to 'labor down'. I had expressed a desire to not want to push until I felt the urge to push since I never felt that with my son either.
After about another hour I asked to switch to being on all fours. I thought baby might still be posterior as was my last, and I wanted to do everything I could to try to turn her. I did different exercises on all fours to get her to move and after a little while I was checked again and complete. I still did not have to urge to push, but at this point labor had been going on awhile and I was starting to really get tired. I asked the nurse what I should do. She said, well you didn't want to push until you got the urge but if you'd like to, with the next contraction, go ahead and push. I pushed the next 30 minutes in all fours over the ball. I bent my hips low and pushed with all my might. In between contractions I still 'wagged' my hips to encourage baby to turn and move down. My legs were getting very weak after 30 minutes so I decided to turn around and go back to squatting over the bar. I pushed in this position for 45 more minutes and had the nurse 'check me' while I was pushing the last 10-15 minutes. She told me baby wasn't moving past a 0 station and her head was starting to mold. At this point I was crushed. It was all sounding like deja vu. The exact same thing as my labor with my son. I was trying to focus and remain confident, but in my head I knew I was pushing as hard as I could in the best positions to move this baby down and she wasn't moving. I started to get very sad and emotional and I started crying. My husband came over to me and told me that it was ok. He told me I was strong and that I could do it. He told me that I should try to relax for a little bit and try to calm down. While the nurse/my mom and doula left the room to talk, my husband and I had a very intimate moment. He told me that I had been so strong this entire time. I had always put my baby first and had done everything I could to get her to come out naturally. He told me it hadn't been that long and that I shouldn't give up just yet. It was at this time I contacted a facebook VBAC group about my situation and I had suggestions to try pushing alternating side to side. When my nurse and doula came back they encouraged me that it was too early to 'throw in the towel' and that I should try whatever I wanted to do. It was hard for me to refocus but I was able to compose myself and start pushing side to side. I didn't want anyone to 'check' to see if it was effective, I just wanted to be left alone to push as hard as I could. I did this and got back into squatting afterwards also for another 10 minutes and I knew nothing was happening. I could see it on every ones face. Everyone knew how important this was to me and I could see their dismay. I looked over at my husband and I said, "it's over". I knew she wasn't moving. My nursed asked if I wanted to have the Dr come in and talk to us and I said yes.
He came in shortly afterwards and 'checked' me as well as had me push with a few contractions. He confirmed that the babies head was molding and swelling but that her head was not moving past my pelvic bone with my pushing. I was extremely swollen (REALLY SWOLLEN) from all the pushing and he looked me in the eyes and said, "You are pushing effectively, you are really pushing I can tell, but she isn't coming down".
We then discussed details of the section. He granted permission for my mother to be able to be present as well. I also asked if I could have her right away because they took my son away from me for 2 hours and I never wanted that to happen again. He said they would give her to me and do skin to skin if I wanted. I asked if he would do delayed cord clamping and he said that with a c section, the uterus and abdominal cavity is wide open while i'm bleeding and that it wasn't a great idea to leave me open for that long. I trusted his opinion and I said that was fine. I asked if my husband could announce the sex and cut the cord and he agreed. After that everything started getting prepped for the surgery. It again wasn't an emergency as baby and I were fine, so things seemed a little slow. This allowed me some time to grieve before being wheeled into the room.
Once in the room the Dr was amazing. Very friendly and telling jokes and really making me feel comfortable with him. My family was allowed in shortly and things started. The Dr said it was time and my husband stood up and they lifted her out of my tummy. The Dr said the cord was wrapped around her neck. It took my husband about 3-4 seconds before he realized it was a GIRL! We were elated! She started crying so loud it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. They wiped her off and weighed her then brought her over to me. 8#s 14.5ozs She laid on my chest and we stared into each others' eyes.
We decided to not use any form of birth control besides my breastfeeding which i did exclusively (no other food at all) until my son was 7.5 months old. I never had my cycle return but have been told that is common when breastfeeding. It is right around this time that I conceived.
We found out we were pregnant again on april fools day :) I was shocked. All the trouble we had getting pregnant before, and I was already pregnant again. As soon as my pregnancy was confirmed I knew I wanted a different birth experience than I had with my son. I did not want to have another Cesarean. I started researching and looking up all the recent studies and read and spoke with numerous mothers who had vbac's themselves (vaginal birth after Cesarean). I confirmed with my provider that they were in support of me and on I went on my vbac journey. The more knowledge I gained, the more confident I got that I knew my body could do it. I was made to give birth. We attended natural birth classes and I hired a doula who was amazing.
At 37 weeks I started to get excited. Id never been pregnant longer than this and I was already much bigger and lower. Everyone who saw me said "you'll never make it to your due date". I also started having lots of uncomfortable contractions that sometimes would last all day but go away at night.
Well 39 weeks came and went and I reached my due date. I was exhausted at this point but I wanted to trust my body. I was also in a lot of discomfort at this point. Everyday it got harder and harder.
At my next appointment I was told I could schedule another c-section if I wanted. I was already 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced, I said just because im at my due date doesn't mean id just give up now. I was told that was ok but I needed to get an ultrasound (BPP) to make sure baby and I were ok. So at 41 weeks I got the ultrasound that showed we were great but baby was 9# and 10ozs. After the ultrasound the Dr told me that with the baby being that big I should consider another c section that she most likely wouldnt fit and if she did, she would probably dislocate her shoulder. I dont believe that ultrasounds at this far in the game are very accurate, and especially this one because the ultrasound tech was having a very hard time doing the ultrasound and she told us she wasnt very confident in her findings.
At 41 weeks and 3 days a Dr came in to see me (instead of midwife) and said that the practice was not recommending I have a vbac anymore and unless I did another c section, that i'd have to go AMA (against medical advise) and sign a liability consent form. After discussing with my husband and doula, we decided to go for an induction 2 days later. I already did not have the support of my Dr's and the longer I waited the more pushy they would get.
Wednesday morning my induction started. Before they turned on the medicine my husband and mother and I said a prayer for everything to go smoothly and to keep our baby healthy. A resident came in and told me that I couldn't get in the tub due to hospital policy. My husband said "there isn't a hospital policy on that!". My nurse then confirmed there was not a policy. She walked out of the room and shortly after a Dr came in (who I really was not fond of) and reminded me that I was going AMA and that she 'hasnt had to do that in 3 years' and she's had to involve the hospital staff about 'my situation'. She also told me I could not get in the tub (which was very important to me) because she's in charge and i'm high risk. I politely argued with her that everyone was fine with me having a VBAC until monday (2 days ago) and now I have all these restrictions on my birth. She still would not allow the tub and left the room after this.
They did an ultrasound to confirm baby was head down and this revealed she was posterior as well (same as my first baby). I was very disappointed to hear this because I had tried to do everything possible to keep her from getting into this position (chiropractic care, exercises...). This time however, I did know of some things I could do during labor to try to get her to turn and since my water was still intact I felt confident.
Once pitocin was started, things were extremely slow. I continued to have sporadic contractions that never really amounted to anything for hours. I tried using the breast pump to pick things up and it didnt help either. They turned the dose up every chance they could but nothing was really happening. Once shift change happened (8 hours later), a new nurse came on and she was AMAZING. She read my birth plan and was in total support of me. She said the new Dr who came on wouldn't mind me getting in the tub and that she was going to be there to help me and support me. She turned the pitocin up to almost the highest it could go (19) and soon after my labor kicked in. I think my body relaxed with her and I knew I was finally supported. My labor was beautiful. My husband was my rock.
I rotated from being on the birth ball, all fours, the toilet, and sitting upright on the bed. We thought she may have turned because there was a big bulge in the middle top of my stomach that we thought was her bum. I dilated pretty quickly and things were starting to get intense about 4-5 hours later, I asked to get in the tub. My nurse didn't even walk out to confirm with the new Dr, she said that's fine and got the water ready. I was about 5 cms at this point and baby was still a little high up (-2). My monitor's never stay in place since my belly is so big, they always have a hard time finding babies heart rate. While in the tub, my nurse leaned over in the water and held the monitor to get babies heart beat each contraction. She truly was the best nurse I could have asked for.
I had also made up note cards with encouraging sayings and verses on them and my mom read them to me during contractions. This really helped me to relax and focus. While in the water I felt I had to use the restroom so I got out and got to the toilet just in time. My body 'cleaned itself out' at the same time I had contractions. It was incredible the way I couldn't control it and my body just took over the 'pushing'. I know that seems like TMI but it was such a different feeling from anything in my first birth that was not natural, I felt my body was actually doing what it was supposed to do this time around. Things started to really intensify after this. I had to get back out to use the restroom a few times, but I was in the tub for about 2-3 hours, it felt amazing and I was able to relax through my contractions. Things were really picking up and I started having a hard time coping with contractions and back labor. I got out of the tub and tried to walk or get on the ball but it hurt too bad. I got in the bed on my side and it continued to hurt pretty bad. After another 30 minutes I said I needed to do something for the pain in my back. I was also shaking uncontrollably it was hard for me to concentrate on anything else. It was getting unbearable and the hot pack was no longer working. I decided on an epidural to allow my body to relax. At this point I was almost 7 cms dilated. After the epidural I tried to lay down and take a nap. I could still feel my back on the left side and after about 20 minutes the pain was back. They had to turn the epidural up a lot more and I didn't like this feeling at all, but I couldn't stand the back pain so it was the better choice. I again tried to sleep but wasn't able to. My support team needed to rest so I just stayed in bed and let everyone else sleep and I prayed. I prayed for strength. I prayed for my baby to be in the right position. I prayed for my baby's heartbeat to stay strong. I prayed for things to go perfectly and for my baby to descend.
All of a sudden I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach except without the pain. I was unsure of what happened and pushed on my belly to get the baby to move and make sure she was ok. She moved but I started to feel a warm gush and realized my water had just broken. The nurse came in very soon and helped 'clean up'. She informed me I had lost a ton more mucus and it was "more than she's ever seen in a long time". I was too numb at this point to move effectively so we decided to turn the epidural way down, get me into a position to help baby turn and allow me to be able to feel more. An hour or so later she checked me and I was 9 cms and said baby had moved WAY DOWN. I was so excited at this point. I felt so confident my body was doing what it was supposed to do. She got the squatting bar up on the bed and dropped the legs down so I could sit upright and lean over the ball to encourage my body to 'labor down'. I had expressed a desire to not want to push until I felt the urge to push since I never felt that with my son either.
After about another hour I asked to switch to being on all fours. I thought baby might still be posterior as was my last, and I wanted to do everything I could to try to turn her. I did different exercises on all fours to get her to move and after a little while I was checked again and complete. I still did not have to urge to push, but at this point labor had been going on awhile and I was starting to really get tired. I asked the nurse what I should do. She said, well you didn't want to push until you got the urge but if you'd like to, with the next contraction, go ahead and push. I pushed the next 30 minutes in all fours over the ball. I bent my hips low and pushed with all my might. In between contractions I still 'wagged' my hips to encourage baby to turn and move down. My legs were getting very weak after 30 minutes so I decided to turn around and go back to squatting over the bar. I pushed in this position for 45 more minutes and had the nurse 'check me' while I was pushing the last 10-15 minutes. She told me baby wasn't moving past a 0 station and her head was starting to mold. At this point I was crushed. It was all sounding like deja vu. The exact same thing as my labor with my son. I was trying to focus and remain confident, but in my head I knew I was pushing as hard as I could in the best positions to move this baby down and she wasn't moving. I started to get very sad and emotional and I started crying. My husband came over to me and told me that it was ok. He told me I was strong and that I could do it. He told me that I should try to relax for a little bit and try to calm down. While the nurse/my mom and doula left the room to talk, my husband and I had a very intimate moment. He told me that I had been so strong this entire time. I had always put my baby first and had done everything I could to get her to come out naturally. He told me it hadn't been that long and that I shouldn't give up just yet. It was at this time I contacted a facebook VBAC group about my situation and I had suggestions to try pushing alternating side to side. When my nurse and doula came back they encouraged me that it was too early to 'throw in the towel' and that I should try whatever I wanted to do. It was hard for me to refocus but I was able to compose myself and start pushing side to side. I didn't want anyone to 'check' to see if it was effective, I just wanted to be left alone to push as hard as I could. I did this and got back into squatting afterwards also for another 10 minutes and I knew nothing was happening. I could see it on every ones face. Everyone knew how important this was to me and I could see their dismay. I looked over at my husband and I said, "it's over". I knew she wasn't moving. My nursed asked if I wanted to have the Dr come in and talk to us and I said yes.
He came in shortly afterwards and 'checked' me as well as had me push with a few contractions. He confirmed that the babies head was molding and swelling but that her head was not moving past my pelvic bone with my pushing. I was extremely swollen (REALLY SWOLLEN) from all the pushing and he looked me in the eyes and said, "You are pushing effectively, you are really pushing I can tell, but she isn't coming down".
We then discussed details of the section. He granted permission for my mother to be able to be present as well. I also asked if I could have her right away because they took my son away from me for 2 hours and I never wanted that to happen again. He said they would give her to me and do skin to skin if I wanted. I asked if he would do delayed cord clamping and he said that with a c section, the uterus and abdominal cavity is wide open while i'm bleeding and that it wasn't a great idea to leave me open for that long. I trusted his opinion and I said that was fine. I asked if my husband could announce the sex and cut the cord and he agreed. After that everything started getting prepped for the surgery. It again wasn't an emergency as baby and I were fine, so things seemed a little slow. This allowed me some time to grieve before being wheeled into the room.
Once in the room the Dr was amazing. Very friendly and telling jokes and really making me feel comfortable with him. My family was allowed in shortly and things started. The Dr said it was time and my husband stood up and they lifted her out of my tummy. The Dr said the cord was wrapped around her neck. It took my husband about 3-4 seconds before he realized it was a GIRL! We were elated! She started crying so loud it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. They wiped her off and weighed her then brought her over to me. 8#s 14.5ozs She laid on my chest and we stared into each others' eyes.
I did not get the VBAC birth that I desired. I may never get it. Is it possible that I am one of the very few who actually have a pelvis too small for a baby to fit? Maybe. But what I know for sure, is that a baby in a posterior position as both my babies were, will not come out. I had chiropractic care, I exercised throughout pregnancy. I had a good diet. I hired a doula...I did everything in my power and it still didn't work for me. I know that I am strong. I know that I have done the best for my baby. I know that i've given myself the best chance possible and for that I am proud. I will remember this birth forever, and cherish the support and strength of my husband and myself. My birth, is my birth and it went exactly as it was supposed to.
Monday, October 14, 2013
The accidental stay at home mom
All my life as I dreamed of what I wanted to be when I 'grew up', I imagined a big family. I imagined lots of kids running around in my yard as the sunshine cast beautiful rays on the green grass. The day I met my husband I actually said "I just want to be a wife and have like 10 kids" (which was very desirable in his eyes I might add). As high school ended and college began I struggled a little bit on what I wanted to 'do'. But shortly after beginning college I found what I thought was the perfect career for me. I pursued my goal and enrolled into the program and did all of the necessary things to get through, and eventually, I did.
I started my career right after graduation working full time. I loved my job. I was very good at my job and very quickly started advancing in my career which meant job switching and brought higher titles, higher pay and more responsibility and I loved it. There was satisfaction when working with people and having them thank you for helping them and show you appreciation for your hard work. I soon had a team under me that I was able to do the same for and show my team how much I appreciated their hard work. Work was good, and I couldnt imagine not working.
My husband and I decided it was time to start a family. We didnt change much in our lives or careers at this point and its a good thing because starting a family proved to be much more difficult for us than we had imagined. It was a constant struggle to try to 'figure out' where my life was intended to go as infertility struck our family, hard. After over a year my husband and I both decided it was time to stop trying to 'figure it out' and just start to live our lives as if we weren't 'trying'. We booked a vacation (we had previously been afraid to schedule anything because of the 'what it'), I found a new part time job, 8 minutes from home. We thought this would be perfect for after baby got here and just decided that me working part time at this point would be fine, my husband started a side business to make some extra easy money working from home... we just went on and trusted that God would provide, one way or the other. And HE DID.
Shortly after, we conceived and it was an incredible blessing. More than can be described in words... I continued to work part time and really had a great time doing so. It was fun to have a group of coworkers to share my journey and truly care about and be happy for us. 2 months before baby was due, we got word that the facility my company was working for, was terminating our contract. This means that I was still employed with my company, however, they would need to find me a new job and location. The environment and type of position I had, would be impossible to replace, my husband and I knew that. My company tried to offer me a similar position 35 minutes away from home, which I declined. I started reaching out to other companies trying to find what I had before... the weeks were counting down and I still had nothing planned. I did however, have companies that just needed me to fill in occasionally for vacations or call offs. I worked the day I went into the hospital to have my son.
After things settled down from the birth and bringing home our sweet baby boy, I started feeling as though it was time to look around for something. I contacted all the companies I knew and many reached out with positions they had. None of them seemed right for us. One evening I was talking with my husband and just expressing concern for what I should do. After praying about it, my husband said to me "You know, God provided that part time job for you while you were pregnant, and He also took that job away right before the baby came...". His prophetic words hit me. Is this what you want Lord? Do you want me to stay home with my son? It may sound strange, but the SAHM thing, never had crossed my mind. I just assumed I would always work. It was still a few weeks of praying and turning down more offers from companies that the Lord made is clear that staying home with my son was his plan for mine and my son's life. It was also the Lords plan that at almost 8 months postpartum, he would bless us with another child (coming in less than 7 weeks).
I am proud to stay home with my son. I am proud to be able to teach him and mold him and show him Christ on a daily basis. I am honored that the Lord would entrust such big of responsibilities on me and trust me enough to bless me with ANOTHER little one to train up. I may not hit the mark everyday. I may not be the perfect mother every day. I may not get the house cleaned and dinner cooked and laundry done every night... But I'm privileged to be home and be the one caring for my child.
If you are a SAHM and struggle with purpose, or feeling as though your work is worthless or trivial... hear me Momma, YOU ARE NEEDED. YOU ARE NECESSARY. Out of all the people in this world, God chose YOU to be your child's momma. No one else can do this job better than you. And you are doing an EXCELLENT JOB!
Take time today to Thank the Lord for the responsibility He has given you in raising and caring for your children.
Lord, Thank you. Thank you for your timing. Thank you for your plan in our lives. Thank you that when we think we know whats best, that you quickly show us your plan. I ask that you help us to be the parents You want us to be. I ask you help us to feel accomplished. Reassure us that Your plan is always better than ours. I pray for our children Lord. I ask that you help us be the example to our children of how to be people of integrity and to show our children to live is Christ but to die is gain. As parents help us to die to our selfish desires everyday and look towards You for direction. We love you Lord and thank you again for Blessing and Entrusting us with so much. Amen
I started my career right after graduation working full time. I loved my job. I was very good at my job and very quickly started advancing in my career which meant job switching and brought higher titles, higher pay and more responsibility and I loved it. There was satisfaction when working with people and having them thank you for helping them and show you appreciation for your hard work. I soon had a team under me that I was able to do the same for and show my team how much I appreciated their hard work. Work was good, and I couldnt imagine not working.
My husband and I decided it was time to start a family. We didnt change much in our lives or careers at this point and its a good thing because starting a family proved to be much more difficult for us than we had imagined. It was a constant struggle to try to 'figure out' where my life was intended to go as infertility struck our family, hard. After over a year my husband and I both decided it was time to stop trying to 'figure it out' and just start to live our lives as if we weren't 'trying'. We booked a vacation (we had previously been afraid to schedule anything because of the 'what it'), I found a new part time job, 8 minutes from home. We thought this would be perfect for after baby got here and just decided that me working part time at this point would be fine, my husband started a side business to make some extra easy money working from home... we just went on and trusted that God would provide, one way or the other. And HE DID.
Shortly after, we conceived and it was an incredible blessing. More than can be described in words... I continued to work part time and really had a great time doing so. It was fun to have a group of coworkers to share my journey and truly care about and be happy for us. 2 months before baby was due, we got word that the facility my company was working for, was terminating our contract. This means that I was still employed with my company, however, they would need to find me a new job and location. The environment and type of position I had, would be impossible to replace, my husband and I knew that. My company tried to offer me a similar position 35 minutes away from home, which I declined. I started reaching out to other companies trying to find what I had before... the weeks were counting down and I still had nothing planned. I did however, have companies that just needed me to fill in occasionally for vacations or call offs. I worked the day I went into the hospital to have my son.
After things settled down from the birth and bringing home our sweet baby boy, I started feeling as though it was time to look around for something. I contacted all the companies I knew and many reached out with positions they had. None of them seemed right for us. One evening I was talking with my husband and just expressing concern for what I should do. After praying about it, my husband said to me "You know, God provided that part time job for you while you were pregnant, and He also took that job away right before the baby came...". His prophetic words hit me. Is this what you want Lord? Do you want me to stay home with my son? It may sound strange, but the SAHM thing, never had crossed my mind. I just assumed I would always work. It was still a few weeks of praying and turning down more offers from companies that the Lord made is clear that staying home with my son was his plan for mine and my son's life. It was also the Lords plan that at almost 8 months postpartum, he would bless us with another child (coming in less than 7 weeks).
I am proud to stay home with my son. I am proud to be able to teach him and mold him and show him Christ on a daily basis. I am honored that the Lord would entrust such big of responsibilities on me and trust me enough to bless me with ANOTHER little one to train up. I may not hit the mark everyday. I may not be the perfect mother every day. I may not get the house cleaned and dinner cooked and laundry done every night... But I'm privileged to be home and be the one caring for my child.
If you are a SAHM and struggle with purpose, or feeling as though your work is worthless or trivial... hear me Momma, YOU ARE NEEDED. YOU ARE NECESSARY. Out of all the people in this world, God chose YOU to be your child's momma. No one else can do this job better than you. And you are doing an EXCELLENT JOB!
Take time today to Thank the Lord for the responsibility He has given you in raising and caring for your children.
Lord, Thank you. Thank you for your timing. Thank you for your plan in our lives. Thank you that when we think we know whats best, that you quickly show us your plan. I ask that you help us to be the parents You want us to be. I ask you help us to feel accomplished. Reassure us that Your plan is always better than ours. I pray for our children Lord. I ask that you help us be the example to our children of how to be people of integrity and to show our children to live is Christ but to die is gain. As parents help us to die to our selfish desires everyday and look towards You for direction. We love you Lord and thank you again for Blessing and Entrusting us with so much. Amen
Thursday, August 29, 2013
I was wrong
In the beginning of my marriage those 3 words were very difficult for me to say. I never wanted to admit I was wrong. I was too prideful and wanted to think I knew everything. Now, did I realize that at the time? Of course not. But over the years and through lots of disagreements and arguments, I've learned how important those 3 little words are and I'd like to encourage you to start incorporating these words in your vocabulary.
Saying your wrong does not mean you are weak
Many people think that when in a disagreement, being the person who admits they were wrong (rightfully or not) becomes the 'weaker' or submissive individual. In actuality if you did say or do something that was wrong, not admitting that puts you in the position of putting blame elsewhere by thinking 'if he wouldn't have done this' or 'if my day would have went better I wouldn't have been mad already'... We can put blame on anyone or anything and this is a tactic we use to not have to face ourselves and apologize. Admitting you were wrong is an act of humility and shows a great deal of character. Your spouse, your children, your coworkers, your friends, will learn to respect you even more when they see you deserve that respect because of your actions rather than demanding it through your words.
If you are a parent, remember that we will never be 'the perfect parent'. There will be times when we disciple our children or speak to our children in a wrongful manner. Going back to your children and apologizing does not undermine your authority as the parent. We need to teach our children that we are to be respected, but that we can make mistakes. And when we do, the right thing to do is to apologize and show our children what humility looks like.
I don't remember the first time I said 'I'm sorry I was wrong' to my husband after an argument. I don't even remember what happened in my marriage for me to realize that I needed to change my attitude... but I do remember the reaction my husband had when I said it. It was utter shock, yet at the same time, I could tell we had overcome a huge obstacle in our communication. He was relieved but not in a I knew I was right way, but that we had just gotten a step closer in reading each other. Once we were both able to start admitting when the other was right and apologizing for the things we had done or said to each other that was wrong, our marriage became so much more reverent.
Start saying 'I was wrong' in your conversation and ask for forgiveness. This will strengthen your relationships and build your character. And if you have little eyes watching you, what better way to teach them these characteristics then by the example of their parents.
Saying your wrong does not mean you are weak
Many people think that when in a disagreement, being the person who admits they were wrong (rightfully or not) becomes the 'weaker' or submissive individual. In actuality if you did say or do something that was wrong, not admitting that puts you in the position of putting blame elsewhere by thinking 'if he wouldn't have done this' or 'if my day would have went better I wouldn't have been mad already'... We can put blame on anyone or anything and this is a tactic we use to not have to face ourselves and apologize. Admitting you were wrong is an act of humility and shows a great deal of character. Your spouse, your children, your coworkers, your friends, will learn to respect you even more when they see you deserve that respect because of your actions rather than demanding it through your words.
If you are a parent, remember that we will never be 'the perfect parent'. There will be times when we disciple our children or speak to our children in a wrongful manner. Going back to your children and apologizing does not undermine your authority as the parent. We need to teach our children that we are to be respected, but that we can make mistakes. And when we do, the right thing to do is to apologize and show our children what humility looks like.
I don't remember the first time I said 'I'm sorry I was wrong' to my husband after an argument. I don't even remember what happened in my marriage for me to realize that I needed to change my attitude... but I do remember the reaction my husband had when I said it. It was utter shock, yet at the same time, I could tell we had overcome a huge obstacle in our communication. He was relieved but not in a I knew I was right way, but that we had just gotten a step closer in reading each other. Once we were both able to start admitting when the other was right and apologizing for the things we had done or said to each other that was wrong, our marriage became so much more reverent.
Start saying 'I was wrong' in your conversation and ask for forgiveness. This will strengthen your relationships and build your character. And if you have little eyes watching you, what better way to teach them these characteristics then by the example of their parents.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)