The birth of Adora Noelle

The birth story of my daughter didn't start 9 months ago, but it started years ago when my husband and I first decided to start our family. We figured getting pregnant would be easy but it was not. After a long time of waiting, praying, crying and fertility help we became pregnant. We were over the moon excited and that excitement drove us through the entire pregnancy. Every kick, every stretch, every time we heard the heartbeat... it just kept us going until we could finally meet our son. At 37 weeks, he came. We never had the anticipation of waiting and wondering when he would come. At 37 weeks, we weren't quite 'ready'. But we were so ready to be parents we couldn't be any happier.
We decided to not use any form of birth control besides my breastfeeding which i did exclusively (no other food at all) until my son was 7.5 months old. I never had my cycle return but have been told that is common when breastfeeding. It is right around this time that I conceived.

We found out we were pregnant again on april fools day :) I was shocked. All the trouble we had getting pregnant before, and I was already pregnant again. As soon as my pregnancy was confirmed I knew I wanted a different birth experience than I had with my son. I did not want to have another Cesarean. I started researching and looking up all the recent studies and read and spoke with numerous mothers who had vbac's themselves (vaginal birth after Cesarean). I confirmed with my provider that they were in support of me and on I went on my vbac journey. The more knowledge I gained, the more confident I got that I knew my body could do it. I was made to give birth. We attended natural birth classes and I hired a doula who was amazing.

At 37 weeks I started to get excited. Id never been pregnant longer than this  and I was already much bigger and lower. Everyone who saw me said "you'll never make it to your due date". I also started having lots of uncomfortable contractions that sometimes would last all day but go away at night.
Well 39 weeks came and went and I reached my due date. I was exhausted at this point but I wanted to trust my body. I was also in a lot of discomfort at this point. Everyday it got harder and harder.
At my next appointment I was told I could schedule another c-section if I wanted. I was already 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced, I said just because im at my due date doesn't mean id just give up now. I was told that was ok but I needed to get an ultrasound (BPP) to make sure baby and I were ok. So at 41 weeks I got the ultrasound that showed we were great but baby was 9# and 10ozs. After the ultrasound the Dr told me that with the baby being that big I should consider another c section that she most likely wouldnt fit and if she did, she would probably dislocate her shoulder.  I dont believe that ultrasounds at this far in the game are very accurate, and especially this one because the ultrasound tech was having a very hard time doing the ultrasound and she told us she wasnt very confident in her findings.
At 41 weeks and 3 days a Dr came in to see me (instead of midwife) and said that the practice was not recommending I have a vbac anymore and unless I did another c section, that i'd have to go AMA (against medical advise) and sign a liability consent form. After discussing with my husband and doula, we decided to go for an induction 2 days later. I already did not have the support of my Dr's and the longer I waited the more pushy they would get.

Wednesday morning my induction started. Before they turned on the medicine my husband and mother and I said a prayer for everything to go smoothly and to keep our baby healthy. A resident came in and told me that I couldn't get in the tub due to hospital policy. My husband said "there isn't a hospital policy on that!". My nurse then confirmed there was not a policy. She walked out of the room and shortly after a Dr came in (who I really was not fond of) and reminded me that I was going AMA and that she 'hasnt had to do that in 3 years' and she's had to involve the hospital staff about 'my situation'. She also told me I could not get in the tub (which was very important to me) because she's in charge and i'm high risk. I politely argued with her that everyone was fine with me having a VBAC until monday (2 days ago) and now I have all these restrictions on my birth. She still would not allow the tub and left the room after this.
They did an ultrasound to confirm baby was head down and this revealed she was posterior as well (same as my first baby). I was very disappointed to hear this because I had tried to do everything possible to keep her from getting into this position (chiropractic care, exercises...).  This time however, I did know of some things I could do during labor to try to get her to turn and since my water was still intact I felt confident.
Once pitocin was started, things were extremely slow. I continued to have sporadic contractions that never really amounted to anything for hours. I tried using the breast pump to pick things up and it didnt help either.  They turned the dose up every chance they could but nothing was really happening. Once shift change happened (8 hours later), a new nurse came on and she was AMAZING. She read my birth plan and was in total support of me. She said the new Dr who came on wouldn't mind me getting in the tub and that she was going to be there to help me and support me. She turned the pitocin up to almost the highest it could go (19) and soon after my labor kicked in. I think my body relaxed with her and I knew I was finally supported. My labor was beautiful. My husband was my rock.

I rotated from being on the birth ball, all fours, the toilet, and sitting upright on the bed. We thought she may have turned because there was a big bulge in the middle top of my stomach that we thought was her bum. I dilated pretty quickly and things were starting to get intense about 4-5 hours later, I asked to get in the tub.  My nurse didn't even walk out to confirm with the new Dr, she said that's fine and got the water ready. I was about 5 cms at this point and baby was still a little high up (-2). My monitor's never stay in place since my belly is so big, they always have a hard time finding babies heart rate. While in the tub, my nurse leaned over in the water and held the monitor to get babies heart beat each contraction. She truly was the best nurse I could have asked for.
I had also made up note cards with encouraging sayings and verses on them and my mom read them to me during contractions. This really helped me to relax and focus. While in the water I felt I had to use the restroom so I got out and got to the toilet just in time. My body 'cleaned itself out' at the same time I had contractions. It was incredible the way I couldn't control it and my body just took over the 'pushing'. I know that seems like TMI but it was such a different feeling from anything in my first birth that was not natural, I felt my body was actually doing what it was supposed to do this time around. Things started to really intensify after this. I had to get back out to use the restroom a few times, but I was in the tub for about 2-3 hours, it felt amazing and I was able to relax through my contractions. Things were really picking up and I started having a hard time coping with contractions and back labor. I got out of the tub and tried to walk or get on the ball but it hurt too bad. I got in the bed on my side and it continued to hurt pretty bad. After another 30 minutes I said I needed to do something for the pain in my back. I was also shaking uncontrollably it was hard for me to concentrate on anything else. It was getting unbearable and the hot pack was no longer working. I decided on an epidural to allow my body to relax. At this point I was almost 7 cms dilated. After the epidural I tried to lay down and take a nap. I could still feel my back on the left side and after about 20 minutes the pain was back. They had to turn the epidural up a lot more and I didn't like this feeling at all, but I couldn't stand the back pain so it was the better choice. I again tried to sleep but wasn't able to. My support team needed to rest so I just stayed in bed and let everyone else sleep and I prayed. I prayed for strength. I prayed for my baby to be in the right position. I prayed for my baby's heartbeat to stay strong. I prayed for things to go perfectly and for my baby to descend.
All of a sudden I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach except without the pain. I was unsure of what happened and pushed on my belly to get the baby to move and make sure she was ok. She moved but I started to feel a warm gush and realized my water had just broken. The nurse came in very soon and helped 'clean up'. She informed me I had lost a ton more mucus and it was "more than she's ever seen in a long time".  I was too numb at this point to move effectively so we decided to turn the epidural way down, get me into a position to help baby turn and allow me to be able to feel more. An hour or so later she checked me and I was 9 cms and said baby had moved WAY DOWN. I was so excited at this point. I felt so confident my body was doing what it was supposed to do. She got the squatting bar up on the bed and dropped the legs down so I could sit upright and lean over the ball to encourage my body to 'labor down'. I had expressed a desire to not want to push until I felt the urge to push since I never felt that with my son either.
After about another hour I asked to switch to being on all fours. I thought baby might still be posterior as was my last, and I wanted to do everything I could to try to turn her. I did different exercises on all fours to get her to move and after a little while I was checked again and complete. I still did not have to urge to push, but at this point labor had been going on awhile and I was starting to really get tired. I asked the nurse what I should do. She said, well you didn't want to push until you got the urge but if you'd like to, with the next contraction, go ahead and push.  I pushed the next 30 minutes in all fours over the ball. I bent my hips low and pushed with all my might. In between contractions I still 'wagged' my hips to encourage baby to turn and move down. My legs were getting very weak after 30 minutes so I decided to turn around and go back to squatting over the bar. I pushed in this position for 45 more minutes and had the nurse 'check me' while I was pushing the last 10-15 minutes. She told me baby wasn't moving past a 0 station and her head was starting to mold. At this point I was crushed. It was all sounding like deja vu. The exact same thing as my labor with my son. I was trying to focus and remain confident, but in my head I knew I was pushing as hard as I could in the best positions to move this baby down and she wasn't moving. I started to get very sad and emotional and I started crying. My husband came over to me and told me that it was ok. He told me I was strong and that I could do it. He told me that I should try to relax for a little bit and try to calm down. While the nurse/my mom and doula left the room to talk, my husband and I had a very intimate moment. He told me that I had been so strong this entire time. I had always put my baby first and had done everything I could to get her to come out naturally. He told me it hadn't been that long and that I shouldn't give up just yet. It was at this time I contacted a facebook VBAC group about my situation and I had suggestions to try pushing alternating side to side. When my nurse and doula came back they encouraged me that it was too early to 'throw in the towel' and that I should try whatever I wanted to do. It was hard for me to refocus but I was able to compose myself and start pushing side to side. I didn't want anyone to 'check' to see if it was effective, I just wanted to be left alone to push as hard as I could. I did this and got back into squatting afterwards also for another 10 minutes and I knew nothing was happening. I could see it on every ones face. Everyone knew how important this was to me and I could see their dismay. I looked over at my husband and I said, "it's over". I knew she wasn't moving. My nursed asked if I wanted to have the Dr come in and talk to us and I said yes.
He came in shortly afterwards and 'checked' me as well as had me push with a few contractions. He confirmed that the babies head was molding and swelling but that her head was not moving past my pelvic bone with my pushing. I was extremely swollen (REALLY SWOLLEN) from all the pushing and he looked me in the eyes and said, "You are pushing effectively, you are really pushing I can tell, but she isn't coming down".
We then discussed details of the section. He granted permission for my mother to be able to be present as well. I also asked if I could have her right away because they took my son away from me for 2 hours and I never wanted that to happen again. He said they would give her to me and do skin to skin if I wanted. I asked if he would do delayed cord clamping and he said that with a c section, the uterus and abdominal cavity is wide open while i'm bleeding and that it wasn't a great idea to leave me open for that long. I trusted his opinion and I said that was fine. I asked if my husband could announce the sex and cut the cord and he agreed. After that everything started getting prepped for the surgery. It again wasn't an emergency as baby and I were fine, so things seemed a little slow. This allowed me some time to grieve before being wheeled into the room.
Once in the room the Dr was amazing. Very friendly and telling jokes and really making me feel comfortable with him. My family was allowed in shortly and things started. The Dr said it was time and my husband stood up and they lifted her out of my tummy. The Dr said the cord was wrapped around her neck.  It took my husband about 3-4 seconds before he realized it was a GIRL! We were elated! She started crying so loud it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. They wiped her off and weighed her then brought her over to me. 8#s 14.5ozs She laid on my chest and we stared into each others' eyes.

I did not get the VBAC birth that I desired. I may never get it. Is it possible that I am one of the very few who actually have a pelvis too small for a baby to fit? Maybe. But what I know for sure, is that a baby in a posterior position as both my babies were, will not come out. I had chiropractic care, I exercised throughout pregnancy. I had a good diet. I hired a doula...I did everything in my power and it still didn't work for me. I know that I am strong. I know that I have done the best for my baby. I know that i've given myself the best chance possible and for that I am proud. I will remember this birth forever, and cherish the support and strength of my husband and myself. My birth, is my birth and it went exactly as it was supposed to.

The accidental stay at home mom

All my life as I dreamed of what I wanted to be when I 'grew up', I imagined a big family. I imagined lots of kids running around in my yard as the sunshine cast beautiful rays on the green grass. The day I met my husband I actually said "I just want to be a wife and have like 10 kids" (which was very desirable in his eyes I might add).  As high school ended and college began I struggled a little bit on what I wanted to 'do'. But shortly after beginning college I found what I thought was the perfect career for me. I pursued my goal and enrolled into the program and did all of the necessary things to get through, and eventually, I did.

I started my career right after graduation working full time. I loved my job. I was very good at my job and very quickly started advancing in my career which meant job switching and brought higher titles, higher pay and more responsibility and I loved it.  There was satisfaction when working with people and having them thank you for helping them and show you appreciation for your hard work. I soon had a team under me that I was able to do the same for and show my team how much I appreciated their hard work. Work was good, and I couldnt imagine not working.

My husband and I decided it was time to start a family. We didnt change much in our lives or careers at this point and its a good thing because starting a family proved to be much more difficult for us than we had imagined.  It was a constant struggle to try to 'figure out' where my life was intended to go as infertility struck our family, hard. After over a year my husband and I both decided it was time to stop trying to 'figure it out' and just start to live our lives as if we weren't 'trying'.  We booked a vacation (we had previously been afraid to schedule anything because of the 'what it'), I found a new part time job, 8 minutes from home. We thought this would be perfect for after baby got here and just decided that me working part time at this point would be fine, my husband started a side business to make some extra easy money working from home... we just went on and trusted that God would provide, one way or the other. And HE DID.

Shortly after, we conceived and it was an incredible blessing. More than can be described in words... I continued to work part time and really had a great time doing so.  It was fun to have a group of coworkers to share my journey and truly care about and be happy for us. 2 months before baby was due, we got word that the facility my company was working for, was terminating our contract. This means that I was still employed with my company, however, they would need to find me a new job and location. The environment and type of position I had, would be impossible to replace, my husband and I knew that. My company tried to offer me a similar position 35 minutes away from home, which I declined. I started reaching out to other companies trying to find what I had before... the weeks were counting down and I still had nothing planned. I did however, have companies that just needed me to fill in occasionally for vacations or call offs.  I worked the day I went into the hospital to have my son.

After things settled down from the birth and bringing home our sweet baby boy, I started feeling as though it was time to look around for something. I contacted all the companies I knew and many reached out with positions they had. None of them seemed right for us. One evening I was talking with my husband and just expressing concern for what I should do. After praying about it, my husband said to me "You know, God provided that part time job for you while you were pregnant, and He also took that job away right before the baby came...". His prophetic words hit me.  Is this what you want Lord? Do you want me to stay home with my son? It may sound strange, but the SAHM thing, never had crossed my mind. I just assumed I would always work.  It was still a few weeks of praying and turning down more offers from companies that the Lord made is clear that staying home with my son was his plan for mine and my son's life. It was also the Lords plan that at almost 8 months postpartum, he would bless us with another child (coming in less than 7 weeks).

I am proud to stay home with my son. I am proud to be able to teach him and mold him and show him Christ on a daily basis. I am honored that the Lord would entrust such big of responsibilities on me and trust me enough to bless me with ANOTHER little one to train up. I may not hit the mark everyday. I may not be the perfect mother every day. I may not get the house cleaned and dinner cooked and laundry done every night... But I'm privileged to be home and be the one caring for my child.

If you are a SAHM and struggle with purpose, or feeling as though your work is worthless or trivial... hear me Momma, YOU ARE NEEDED. YOU ARE NECESSARY. Out of all the people in this world, God chose YOU to be your child's momma. No one else can do this job better than you. And you are doing an EXCELLENT JOB!

Take time today to Thank the Lord for the responsibility He has given you in raising and caring for your children.

Lord, Thank you. Thank you for your timing. Thank you for your plan in our lives. Thank you that when we think we know whats best, that you quickly show us your plan. I ask that you help us to be the parents You want us to be. I ask you help us to feel accomplished. Reassure us that Your plan is always better than ours. I pray for our children Lord. I ask that you help us be the example to our children of how to be people of integrity and to show our children to live is Christ but to die is gain. As parents help us to die to our selfish desires everyday and look towards You for direction. We love you Lord and thank you again for Blessing and Entrusting us with so much. Amen

I was wrong

In the beginning of my marriage those 3 words were very difficult for me to say. I never wanted to admit I was wrong. I was too prideful and wanted to think I knew everything. Now, did I realize that at the time? Of course not. But over the years and through lots of disagreements and arguments, I've learned how important those 3 little words are and I'd like to encourage you to start incorporating these words in your vocabulary.

Saying your wrong does not mean you are weak
Many people think that when in a disagreement, being the person who admits they were wrong (rightfully or not) becomes the 'weaker' or submissive individual. In actuality if you did say or do something that was wrong, not admitting that puts you in the position of putting blame elsewhere by thinking 'if he wouldn't have done this' or 'if my day would have went better I wouldn't have been mad already'... We can put blame on anyone or anything and this is a tactic we use to not have to face ourselves and apologize.  Admitting you were wrong is an act of humility and shows a great deal of character. Your spouse, your children, your coworkers, your friends, will learn to respect you even more when they see you deserve that respect because of your actions rather than demanding it through your words.

If you are a parent, remember that we will never be 'the perfect parent'. There will be times when we disciple our children or speak to our children in a wrongful manner. Going back to your children and apologizing does not undermine your authority as the parent. We need to teach our children that we are to be respected, but that we can make mistakes. And when we do, the right thing to do is to apologize and show our children what humility looks like.

I don't remember the first time I said 'I'm sorry I was wrong' to my husband after an argument. I don't even remember what happened in my marriage for me to realize that I needed to change my attitude... but I do remember the reaction my husband had when I said it. It was utter shock, yet at the same time, I could tell we had overcome a huge obstacle in our communication. He was relieved but not in a  I knew I was right way, but that we had just gotten a step closer in reading each other.  Once we were both able to start admitting when the other was right and apologizing for the things we had done or said to each other that was wrong, our marriage became so much more reverent.

Start saying 'I was wrong' in your conversation and ask for forgiveness. This will strengthen your relationships and build your character. And if you have little eyes watching you, what better way to teach them these characteristics then by the example of their parents.

My Journey: Breastfeeding

I began my Breastfeeding journey knowing this:

Breast milk is better than formula
It is free and more convenient
My mom and grandma did it

My goals for how long I would breastfeed was nothing I even thought about when my son was born. I really had no knowledge of how to even breastfeed other than knowing that you put baby on the breast and let them do their thing. I had friends recommend a consultant if I had any trouble at all. 5 days after my son was born my milk 'came in' and then I was really confused. I was able to get a consultation that very same day and gained a lot of knowledge in the process. We continued on our journey figuring out as we went and I grew to love breastfeeding.

What I learned as we continued on our journey was how amazing breast milk actually is. God continues to amaze me by the way that He has designed our bodies as woman for the birthing/laboring/mothering process. There are so many other benefits of breastfeeding it would take up pages to tell you about. But a few of my favorites are this:

*Nursing releases endorphins and the hormone oxytocin which is the same hormone that is released when you 'fall in love'. This can reduce the incidence of have PPD and give you a natural mommy high!
*Nursing, often times, prevents you from having a menstrual period for quite some time after baby is born. This keeps you stocked up with Iron which is not only a great source for baby, but it helps mommy recover from labor and delivery.
*If baby gets a virus, the virus going into the body through the breast, and the body builds antibodies against that virus and gives it to baby through the milk.
*When your baby goes through a growth spurt or begins to want more milk, your body senses that your baby wants/needs more milk and your body produces more.
*Breast milk is the only nutrients that your baby needs for the FIRST YEAR OF LIFE.
*Nursing burns so many calories many times nursing mothers have to eat more in order to keep weight on.

With all that being said, it is unfortunately now time for my breastfeeding journey to end for my son and I. I am 20 weeks pregnant and my hormones have depleted my milk supply to almost nothing. Although my goal before getting pregnant was to nurse much longer, it is not going to be possible. This saddens me greatly but I know that I've done everything I can for my son and making it over a year is a great accomplishment and not having to give my son any formula was such a blessing. I want to continue to encourage my nursing mothers and friends and be of any help I can to you all. I will be starting another breastfeeding chapter soon enough and cannot wait for that time.

Breast is Best.

Car Seat Safety!

Hi Guys!
If you know me, you know i'm passionate about keeping children safe. Whether it be in a car, at home, through what they eat etc... so it's no secret that as many fatal car accidents as there are per year, that I'd have a strong opinion about what children sit in while in a vehicle. Please read along for more info on how to ensure that your child is as safe as possible while in a vehicle.

When we found out we were pregnant, we were given lots of baby items from family. 1 infant car seat and 2 toddler seats, to name a few items.  We were very thankful as we always hear children are expensive so getting anything we could, for free, was such a blessing. When you go down the registry checklist, there are lots of items under car seat that seem to be necessities; buckle straps, infant head support, infant neck support, mirrors, adaptors.... and as a new mommy, you scan them all if you're like me. Am I right?

Taking my son home from the hospital I had no idea how to put him into the car seat. You think its pretty self explanatory right? Buckle the top and the bottom and you're done. That's what I did for 3 months. I had no concern of whether or not the straps were tight enough, or if the buckles were in the right place... what is the 'right place' anyway? It wasnt until a friend shared with me the purpose of each buckle that I realized i'd been doing it all wrong, and in the meantime, putting my son's life at stake had we been in a crash.

                                 Going home from the hospital... all wrong

Here is the info I was given but I will also provide links below for further references.

Chest Clip
The top buckle is actually called the "chest clip". It is supposed to be over the chest, imagine that! To be more specific right on top of the nipple area. The reasoning behind this is because this buckle's purpose is to protect the vital organs and the chest cavity in a crash. If it is at the level of the belly button, the vital organs are exposed and in a crash could mean fatal injuries.

Strap Level
There are multiple slits in the back of the car seat that determine where the straps come in from. These need to be AT OR BELOW the level of the babies shoulders. The problem with them being higher up is that if in a crash the straps are higher up than the shoulders, they will allow the baby to slip upwards in their seat. If lowered they will prevent the child from flying upward and allow the car seat to take the impact of the crash.

Head Rest and other additives
Any item that is added to the car seat that DID NOT come with the car seat is a void of warranty per the manual. I know this seems strange, why do they sell things to add to car seats, if they will void the warranty from the manufacturer? Every company wants to make money and lets face it, those cute fussy monkey straps make that car seat look so cute right? So when we dont know, we purchase them and use them.
Any head support cushion that didnt come with the car seat, if broken or in a crash, will void the warranty and per the manufacturer, will make the car seat unsafe.

Bulky Clothes
You should not have on any winter coats or anything other than a light jacket. Anything that you must loosen the straps in order to clip it, creates too much space and if in a crash, can allow the baby to actually be throw or slip out of the car seat altogether. Cover the baby with a blanket in the winter and put a jacket on once you arrive at your destination.

Loose Straps
Make sure the straps are tight against baby's body. If you can pinch the straps they are not tight enough. If in a crash, loose straps can allow baby to fly forward and cause internal decapitation and/or spinal and neck injuries.

And last but not least, Rear facing is the safest position for your child. The MINIMUM requirement for rear facing is 20#'s AND 1 year old. Your child must be BOTH over the age of 1 and over 20#'s. But, in a crash 100% of manufacturor's believe rear facing is the safest position to avoid head and neck injuries.
If you wish, watch the video below to see the story of Joel, an 18 month old who was in a crash while forward facing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8gU9zzCGA8

For more information on car seats check out the links below
http://www.parents.com/baby/safety/car/baby-car-seat-safety-check-avoid-common-mistakes/
http://dailymomtra.com/2011/03/30/the-picture-guide-to-car-seat-safety/

How is your Prayer life?

I recently had a friend post a status on facebook asking her friends if they just say "I'll pray for you" and then never do, or if they truly do remember to pray when they say they will.

We are all guilty of this arent we? But why? What are we so busy doing that we cant stop and pray for someone? Dont we believe that Prayer can CHANGE things? Dont we believe that God wants to hear our requests?

I've also read a bunch of posts about Pay it Forward. Some people saying they pay for the car behind them in the drive thru, or I heard in the check out line, the person in front of a friend bought a $10 gift card and handed it to the person in line behind her. It seems the world is getting more generous amidst the horrible tragedies that continue to happen in our country. BUT, do these random acts of kindness pose any future benefit? One could agree this, but what I purpose to challenge us about is how much more of a benefit can we give our friends/enemies/family WHOEVER by praying for them.

A couple years ago I had a friend talk to me over messaging. We were talking about a lot of our struggles and right over the internet, she prayed for me via messaging. I had asked for prayers and never would have thought of doing it like that... but how powerful that was. It made such an impact that I started doing this as well. I have prayed for people on their own facebook pages or messages. I've emailed and texted prayers to people before.  Is anything too difficult for our GOD? Can He not reach people through internet prayers?

My challenge to you is this. With the growing popularity of "Pay it forward" and "Random acts of kindness", I ask you this... Look for opportunities to pray for others. Pray for the Lord to give you more opportunities to affect the lives of those around you.  Facebook, was intended to be something good, but it can and has at times, turned into something toxic. You dont have to scroll down your newsfeed too far to find controversy. I challenge you. Pray for your friends. If you dont feel comfortable typing and leaving a public message, then send a private message and encourage your friends. If someone is having a rough day, pray for them.

A $10 gift card sure if nice, especially unexpected from someone you dont even know.... but those warm fuzzy feelings will eventually fade, maybe even on your way home driving (we all know people are crazy drivers).... but how much more can a prayer impact someone who is hurting, or in need, or feeling alone. Someone who is exhausted, a single mother, struggling....

Lets take the time to pray.... right now

Lord Jesus, You are all mighty, alpha and omega. You are the beginning of everything. You created the world. You created us. You love us so much more than we can ever imagine. You have planned our days before we even knew you. Thank you for giving us all the ability to impact others. Thank you for empowering us with your Holy Spirit. May you bring opportunities for us to encourage and pray for others.  Make us salt. Make us shine like a light on a stand. We love you Lord. Amen

Have you Stalled?

Why do we run away from Conviction? We're ashamed to admit we've done something wrong, or that we have displeased God. We all displease Him. We're all sinners. Right? But is that an excuse?


I've been reading in John 8 and I'd urge you to do the same because God has been teaching me so much that I haven't seen before. In verse 12 Jesus says "I am the light of the world, Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life"... after reading this. I WAS CONVICTED! Have you, as a follower of Christ, ever felt like you are walking in darkness?  I sure have. I have felt lonely, hurt, angry, self-consious, afraid... surely I know that I am a believer so how is this so? Does that verse not say that "WHOEVER FOLLOWS ME.... NEVER will walk in darkness"? God's word is true and never changing so how could this be? How can it be that I am a believer of Christ, yet I still have periods of time when I am not walking in the light?
The only explanation is that I had to have turned my back on Christ and stopped following Him.  OUCH. Talk about conviction. But how did that happen? How do we get so far away from Christ, that we dont even realize it until we are pulled so far from Him? My friends, it happens so fast, so easily. In this world distractions are everywhere and the world wants to tell you to take your life in your own hands... Let me give you some pointers for making sure you stand strong and you persevere.

-Read God's word DAILY
Why is this such a struggle? We've heard this time and time again but why dont we do it? Why dont we read every morning and give Christ our first fruits? Let me tell you, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, if you are having a problem getting into the word everyday, your problem is not your priorities, your problem is your love.  You love yourself more than you love Christ. You love your children more than you love Christ.  You love your job, or your books, or your television shows or your friends more than Christ. You're problem isnt that your priorities are wrong, your problem is you need to LOVE GOD. Why is it when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, did he says this "LOVE the Lord your God will ALL your heart ALL your soul and ALL your mind and with all your strength?"
If you're having a hard time getting into the Word, get on your knees. Maybe even right now.  Tell God that you want to Love Him with all that you have to give. Be honest with Him, what's holding you back from loving Him more??

-Pray everyday - all day
If you've ever been to my house, you will see that there are scripture verses everywhere. I even have 1 on the dash of my car. When I see them, I pray. Even if its 1 sentence. I pray. To keep my mind focused on the Lord. If i'm cleaning I'll say "Thank you for this house you've provided for us".  Or if Im getting food out of the fridge (I have a couple verses on the fridge) I'll say "I am so thankful I have a husband who works so hard to provide this food." or "Thank you for this food"... you get it. It's continuous. It's easy. It's not even close to what our God deserves for what He did for us.

-Get Accountability
Find someone you can talk to daily or weekly about how your relationship with Christ is. That seems like a strange question to ask a friend every week.  But if you think about it, when the week is over, how often did you speak with God. How many verses, chapters or books of the bible did you read and study?  Did you love God? Did you show Him you trust Him? If you're not asking these questions weekly, you need to start because you're stalling your relationship with Christ. If you arent going forward, which way are you going? Dont stand still....
*The definition of the word Stall: To come to a stand still, to stop running as a result of malfunction. Who has stopped running? Who is malfunctioning?

-Evaluate yourself
I set a goal for each month to try to read through a part of the bible or to do a devotional booklet or to have intimate prayer times a certain number of times a month.  At the beginning of the month, I evaluate it.  Did I achieve my goal? Did I grow in my relationship with Christ? I cannot say that I have always met my goals. I also cannot say that sometimes when I did, I really grew in my relationship with Christ. That is why its important to ask both of those questions. Am I doing this so I can mark it off on my paper, or am I doing it because I Love God so much, that I have to have that time with Him or I'm easily angered, outspoken, irritated, miserable?

In the valleys of life, don't walk away. God has your life under control, you just need to trust. You need to have faith in God that He is who He says He is. And He's done(or will do) what He says He's going to do.  He knows you, your ins and outs. He knows what you need, when you need it. He knows whats best for you, and whats not best for you. He sometimes give us Blessings, and He sometimes takes them away. We have troubles, we have trials, we have hurt, pain, anger, betrayal, loneliness, selfishness... but we STAND STRONG, We cling to Christ. We dont waver. God has got this. He's got your life. He created the world. He made the ocean and the mountains and the animals and He created YOU. There is nothing too hard for Him. "I am the Lord, the God of ALL mankind, is anything to hard for Me?"

Trust Him. Seek Him. He rewards those who seek Him.