5 ways to Better Communication with your Husband

 I wrote a very long blog on communication and while I think the info is very good, I thought I'd write a shorter version with more specific instructions.
Have you ever had a full minute conversation with your husband, only to then hear a "HUH" response?
And then you're so mad that they weren't listening to you that you respond negatively towards your spouse "You're not LISTENING to me!"
Here are 5 ways to instantly better your communication with your spouse!


1: Give an introduction~
Men are like waffles. You've heard the comparison. But let me elaborate. When your husband is in a different compartment, they cannot, physically CANNOT, focus on another compartment at the same time. So if you want him to listen to your story, First say "Hunny, I'd like to take a few minutes to talk to you about what happened today". This allows him to turn off the current "compartment" he's in, and focus on listening.

2: DON'T call him multiple times a day~
If your husband is at work all day, and you like to call often when you think of something, or to just talk with your spouse, this makes things very difficult for your husband. He is in his "Work Compartment" and when you call, you disrupt this compartment and chances are, he wont be able to fully listen, and you'll end up frustrated. I am not saying you should never call your husband at work, but keep it to 1 or 2 calls if you must, GIVE AN INTRODUCTION and ask if he has 5 minutes to listen. If he doesn't, respect that he is at work (or in his "work compartment") and you can talk later.

Something that may help is to write down on a note pad, a list of things to talk about 

when your husband gets home.

3: Tell him to just listen~
For many women, talking relieves stress. Some may call it "venting", but even if your conversation isn't accompanied by complaining, it still helps up manage our stress. Men don't understand this, so when you just need to talk, first give an introduction "Hunny do you have 5 minutes"? Then before you start tell him "I just want you to listen".

4: Ask him about work~
Believe it or not, men need to vent too sometimes. We need to allow them to talk about their days' as well and they may not give much detail and that's fine. They will really love this especially if their love language is Quality Time.

Not sure what your love language is? Click here

5: Don't respond negatively when he isn't listening~
Since we are all human, they are going to screw up. They are going to be in a different "compartment" and not paying attention. Show them Grace. I have to constantly remind myself to "tame my tongue". For many years in my married I didn't show grace and I DID respond negatively. This did not help my communication with my spouse and it definitely did NOT help my marriage. If you find yourself in this situation where your husband has not listened to you, with grace, give an introduction "Hunny, I really need to talk about this with you, can you give me 5 minutes?". He may say that he needs to complete the current task on his mind so allow him this time he needs and perhaps write down on a note pad what you'd like to talk about (if you are like me and you may forget).

Try these simple steps for better communication with yoru husband and let me know how it works for you!