Yes you read that right. MONDAY, I will celebrate 7 years of marriage. Were they ALL wonderful years of marriage? No they werent. I want to help you to keep your marriage strong. I want to encourage you to push through the storms because, its worth it so read on for my story!
2010 - We had been married 3 years. We'd both graduated college and were both working. We felt we were "ready" to start a family. We had overcome our communication issues in the beginning of our marriage.
(If you'd like to read about how we overcome our communication problems click HERE). And so, it was time. We are both go-geters. We think about something, and we do it. We've always been successful in what we set our minds to. We expected having children to be no different. We had no idea the obstacles we were about to face. We were young, and this was our desire, so we set out on the journey of adding children to our family. 3 months into our journey, nothing had happened. We both were slightly disappointed but we weren't worried just yet. Our family and friends reminded us "it takes the average couple a year to conceive"... As 3 more months past, I began to become impatient. Why was I not getting pregnant? We decided to seek out fertility help and were both tested with no abnormal results. As relieved as we were to hear that, I was also kinda angry at the results. So if nothing is wrong, why isn't it happening? It was at this point that we recognized our need to go to the Throne and trust that the Lord had his own plan for our future. Relinquishing control has never been easy for me and with something so big, this was a huge challenge. Everyday Scott and I prayed, begging God for His blessing in our lives however He saw fit to bless us. We did our best to wait patiently. We grew so much stronger and closer together as we continued down our path of infertility. God did hear our prayers. And God did answer our prayers. As we prepared for the birth of our first child we were ecstatic. We painted the room, we picked out the furniture, we put the rocking chair together, we talked to, sang to, played with and prayed for our child. My husband was just as involved as I was in the whole process. He loved feeling baby kicks and hearing the heartbeat. He came to every appointment with me. We couldn't have been happier or closer.
Our baby boy arrived and after a difficult first 2 weeks, daddy was learning right along with mommy with how to care for him. Daddy became very good with diaper changes, bath time, even getting him to sleep and napping with him. He was so helpful I don't know what I would have done without all his help!
Our son was such a happy baby. He was a great sleeper and very mobile at even a very young age. We were so Blessed and Content!
On april fools day, we were very shocked to discover the Lord had a very different plan for us. We were expecting AGAIN. I was going to have 2 babies, 17 months apart! I was excited and overwhelmed at the same time. My husband was shocked! All the trouble we had the first time, we never dreamed we'd be Blessed again so soon. We put our house up for sale because we needed something bigger for our growing family and we sold our house in 2 days. The Lord really helped us in providing the home we desired only 5 minutes away! We moved when I was almost 9 months pregnant. This pregnancy was different than the other. No I still felt sick, still had the heartburn... every symptom was the same, but this pregnancy was different. It went FAST. I didn't have my husband with me at every appointment. We had another baby to take care of so sometimes, he had to stay with our son. My husband didn't spend hours with his hand on my belly waiting for baby kicks. We didn't paint the room, at all. We barely even purchased anything for this baby. Don't get me wrong, we were very excited and anticipating our daughters birth, but we were very distracted by everything else that way going on in our lives.
Our precious, sweet baby girl came into the world 6 days before Christmas. We had a son and a daughter and our hearts were full! But our lives were crazy! Having 2 babies in diapers, coordinating diaper changes, bath time, dinner time, laundry, cleaning, cooking... there was barely time for my husband and I to talk to each other. Once the kids were in bed for the night, we were both exhausted. We'd brush our teeth and get under the covers and barely say more than "how was your day?". The weekends were nice because I felt I got a slight break from caring for the kids, but that meant my other duties took over, like cleaning and laundry. It was a vicious circle of never ending duty for me. I felt aside from my children, I had no purpose... valueless, expendable... I was trapped at home and it was really starting to get to me and effect my relationship with my husband. We didn't spend time together, we barely talked. On the weekends if there was ever anything I actually wanted to do, my husband didn't. If I felt I accomplished something (cleaned the bathrooms, washed, folded and put away laundry) He didn't notice, and didn't share in my excitement. I wasn't happy. I was allowing my circumstances to effect my feelings and my emotions and I had to make a change.
I scheduled a "date night" with my husband but to be honest, I didn't want to go. I knew we needed to talk and I was happy for the baby free time and dinner, but I really didn't want to talk to him. I wasn't doing a good job. After all, the house was always messy, the laundry piled up and dishes in the sink and I wasn't happy with him either. Having children dismantled my marriage. Something we so desperately desired, was the catalyst for what had brought us so far apart. How did this happen? We had to work on our relationship, fast. If you find yourself in this same sinking sand, here's the way out.
First thing you need to do is TALK with your husband. There is going to be conflict. Having a baby is a major life change. Approach conflict with humility. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that you feel you never get to spend time together anymore. Tell him you long for his companionship. Tell him you miss HIM. Tell him you want him to talk to you, to ask about you. Tell him you feel that you both only discuss your children and not the two of you, or your relationship anymore. Tell him what you miss about him.
Determine what you think would help your relationship, whether it be a date night away, doing an activity you both love together, doing a devotion together or a marriage book, getting his help around the house, or getting him to praise your accomplishments throughout the day...Whatever it is that will help YOU to realize that your hard work with your children and your home is absolutely worth it, then do it. Make sure you ask and acknowledge the same thing with your husband. As much as you are feeling alone, your husband may be feeling the same way. You used to cook for him every night, and spend time together and now you are occupied with your children. He may have some needs of his own that are not being met. Make sure to listen to your husbands feelings as well.
Do you know what your love language is? If not, figure it out Here. It's common for your love language to CHANGE over the years so take the test again if its been awhile! Once you and your husband know your love language, discover ways you can show each other you love each other during your busy days.
You must take time to work on your relationship. Your children need to see you love each other, forgive each other, and yes, even kiss each other. Momma's, your children are your job. They are your responsibility. God has entrusted them to you. Part of your responsibility in raising your children and taking care of your home, is taking care of the Man who works to keep that home running. God has placed your husband as the leader of your home. Start viewing your role at home at a higher level. When you start to have feelings of inadequacy, replace that feeling with a positive feeling. Here is an example: I am walking from the living room to the bathroom and I trip over a toy car which I've told my son to put away. I am angry and frustrated that my son has not listened to me. I need to replace those feelings with another feeling, such as, thankfulness. I am thankful that I have money to buy toys for my children. I am thankful I have healthy kids that can run around and play with these toys. Or the ACTUAL thought I DID think this morning (when this really happened) "Thank you for the slippers my husband bought me so that really didnt hurt as much as it could have". It's the little things. :)
It is ALWAYS worth it to work on your marriage. If you feel trapped, if you feel lonely, if you feel dissatisfied in your marriage, work on it. Fix it. Take the time you need because its worth it and your children need both of their parents, together.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
My Babywise experience
I get tons of questions from new moms regarding newborn sleep (or lack thereof). I figured I'd write about my experience to help all of you new moms.
There are a million different takes on sleep training from scheduled, cry it out, never wake a sleeping baby, all the way to do nothing at all and let them sleep when they want. This is just my take and the way I felt it worked best for my family.
When my son was born I knew I wanted to breastfeed him. I thought it would be very simple, he's hungry, I nurse.... It wasn't. The nurses at the hospital make you feel as though you should be nursing non stop. They'd come in every hour and ask "When's the last time he nursed?" and "For how long?". Sometimes I'd make something up because I just couldn't remember how long. I mean, I'd just given birth after 24 hours of labor with no sleep the day before. Going home I tried to continue to pattern of nursing often. To add to this, about a week after he was born we discovered he had jaundice and the Dr recommended I nurse every 3 hours at night and every 2 hours during the day. So this became my routine for the next 3 weeks. It wasn't every 2 hours on the dot, but almost every time we were close, my son would let me know anyway. He'd be screaming and so I'd nurse him. At 4 weeks he'd gained a ton of weight and got rid of the jaundice so I wanted to get some sort of normalcy in our routine. I stopped waking him at night but he woke on his own, apparently he had gotten used to every 3 hours. Some times we wouldn't even make it 2 hours before he woke. By 6 weeks I was exhausted! Mentally and physically and very sleep deprived. He would only nap with me on my chest and it seemed he wanted to nurse non stop, which had me in a zombie like state, a messy house, and always hungry because I couldn't even make time for making meals. I knew something had to change or else I didn't know if I'd ever be able to go anywhere or do anything. And plus, my son wasn't happy. He was crying a lot and very fussy everyday. I wanted something to be better for him.
A friend told me about babywise and I thought to myself, 'well it cant get any worst'. I decided I would try it for 1 week and see the results. I committed to do it exactly the way it was supposed to be done no cheating. Here's what happened:
The first day I set an alarm and I woke him up at 7:30 and nursed him right away. It had been a rough night of lots of waking, but I had committed to doing this. I wasn't happy about 7:30 but I made some coffee and went with it. He was awake about 1 hour when I noticed him rubbing his eyes. Perfect I thought, there my cue! I swaddled him up tight and laid him down to go to sleep in his crib. He hadn't been sleeping in the crib much at this point because he only wanted to sleep with me. He cried about 3 minutes and I went in and put a pacifier in his mouth and walked out. A few minutes later he started crying again, I waited a couple minutes and went in and did the same. This time I got on my knees and reached over the top of the crib and held the pacifier in his mouth, then I rubbed his forehead at the same time. He fell asleep quickly and I walked out. My son never had a problem waking up early. He was a good sleeper almost immediately as I tried to establish this babywise schedule.
When the 3 hour mark came up (on the dot) I woke him up and nursed him immediately. We continued this 3 hour cycle all day until it was evening (the typical screamfest every night). I laid him down to go to sleep and he cried maybe a total of 5 minutes, I put his pacifier in and he went right to sleep around 9:30. He slept uninterrupted until 1 in the morning. This was amazing especially when you are used to 1.5 hours of sleep at a time. I decided from that moment that I was going to commit to the babywise plan. I continued to wake him at the exact same time every morning 7:30 and continued to same 3 hour routine until his normal bedtime.
My son took to the routine wonderfully. It was like he was aching for a schedule. After 1 week I would say he was almost perfect. Awake for 1 hour, sleep for 2 hours all day until bedtime. He was still waking 2 times a night, but at least he was sleeping in this crib and I could actually, cook, clean, and even possibly get away to the store by myself (AHH!!!)
When my daughter came along I knew I would do babywise with her and start immediately to get her eating every 3 hours. This was very easy for my daughter because she wasn't really interested in nursing. She was very calm, didn't cry much, and content with being in my arms (which mommy was fine with too) She didn't leave my side for the first week I think! Her sleeping pattern was way off, but as far as nursing every 3 hours, we started right away. It was hard at first because she wouldn't sleep for long periods of time. 40 minutes sometimes and then be awake. Not hungry, just awake. I had to follow *her* schedule for the first few weeks. She had the hardest time falling asleep. She fought sleep every time and I don't like to let my kids cry so I chose to get her to sleep anyway I could. Some times that was nursing her, most of the time that was holding her and walking around my room. At 5 weeks I had to get back to normal and begin doing bible study and going back to working occasionally so I really needed her to be predictable. I couldn't keep locking myself in my bedroom to walk her to sleep and leave my toddler roaming around the house. I decided I was going to have to let her cry it out to get her to go to sleep. At first I started the same things I did with my son. She did not like the pacifier. I would try rubbing her head, that didn't work either, just made her more mad. I would try getting her to sleep in my arms, then lay her down, she'd wake 5-10 minutes later realizing I wasn't there. All this time, my toddler is where? I realized I had to do something different for the sake of both my kids. I had to walk away. I hated this part. It goes against our mother instincts to leave our crying babies, but that was what I knew was best for me to parent both my kids.
My daughter was much harder to get on a schedule than my son was. He took to it almost immediately. My daughter took probably a good 6 weeks for her to get the schedule down. She had a difficult time sleeping all the way to the 3 hour mark with frequent wakings. She would wake early, and not because she was hungry. I kept on, laying her down when she showed she was tired and she very gradually started to sleep longer than 45 minutes. She is 6 months old now and is perfect on the 3 hour schedule, taking 3 naps a day. It was a much different experience with her than *training* my son.
This is one take on sleep training and the one I personally chose. You are welcome to read, and choose to do something different. I am here to answer any questions you may have. I'm a better mother to my kids, when I sleep and my kids are also happier when they are well rested. It may be easy when you have 1 child to say "we just got lucky he/she's a good baby"... but I firmly believe after having 2 babies with totally different styles and doing babywise with both, that the amount of sleep they get is the amount they require as babies and helps them to be very happy and content.
It is also my opinion that my son learned to trust he would always get food when he woke up. He never cried for hunger - ever. He woke up happy and KNEW he would get fed because it was a routine. It was predictable. This helped me as a mother because anytime my son DID cry, I knew something was wrong.
This is my babywise journey with both my kids. I am a well rested momma and 2 babies sleeping through the night and they both NEVER cry unless something is wrong! Babywise has made my kids happier and has made this momma's life easier as well!
There are a million different takes on sleep training from scheduled, cry it out, never wake a sleeping baby, all the way to do nothing at all and let them sleep when they want. This is just my take and the way I felt it worked best for my family.
When my son was born I knew I wanted to breastfeed him. I thought it would be very simple, he's hungry, I nurse.... It wasn't. The nurses at the hospital make you feel as though you should be nursing non stop. They'd come in every hour and ask "When's the last time he nursed?" and "For how long?". Sometimes I'd make something up because I just couldn't remember how long. I mean, I'd just given birth after 24 hours of labor with no sleep the day before. Going home I tried to continue to pattern of nursing often. To add to this, about a week after he was born we discovered he had jaundice and the Dr recommended I nurse every 3 hours at night and every 2 hours during the day. So this became my routine for the next 3 weeks. It wasn't every 2 hours on the dot, but almost every time we were close, my son would let me know anyway. He'd be screaming and so I'd nurse him. At 4 weeks he'd gained a ton of weight and got rid of the jaundice so I wanted to get some sort of normalcy in our routine. I stopped waking him at night but he woke on his own, apparently he had gotten used to every 3 hours. Some times we wouldn't even make it 2 hours before he woke. By 6 weeks I was exhausted! Mentally and physically and very sleep deprived. He would only nap with me on my chest and it seemed he wanted to nurse non stop, which had me in a zombie like state, a messy house, and always hungry because I couldn't even make time for making meals. I knew something had to change or else I didn't know if I'd ever be able to go anywhere or do anything. And plus, my son wasn't happy. He was crying a lot and very fussy everyday. I wanted something to be better for him.
A friend told me about babywise and I thought to myself, 'well it cant get any worst'. I decided I would try it for 1 week and see the results. I committed to do it exactly the way it was supposed to be done no cheating. Here's what happened:
The first day I set an alarm and I woke him up at 7:30 and nursed him right away. It had been a rough night of lots of waking, but I had committed to doing this. I wasn't happy about 7:30 but I made some coffee and went with it. He was awake about 1 hour when I noticed him rubbing his eyes. Perfect I thought, there my cue! I swaddled him up tight and laid him down to go to sleep in his crib. He hadn't been sleeping in the crib much at this point because he only wanted to sleep with me. He cried about 3 minutes and I went in and put a pacifier in his mouth and walked out. A few minutes later he started crying again, I waited a couple minutes and went in and did the same. This time I got on my knees and reached over the top of the crib and held the pacifier in his mouth, then I rubbed his forehead at the same time. He fell asleep quickly and I walked out. My son never had a problem waking up early. He was a good sleeper almost immediately as I tried to establish this babywise schedule.
When the 3 hour mark came up (on the dot) I woke him up and nursed him immediately. We continued this 3 hour cycle all day until it was evening (the typical screamfest every night). I laid him down to go to sleep and he cried maybe a total of 5 minutes, I put his pacifier in and he went right to sleep around 9:30. He slept uninterrupted until 1 in the morning. This was amazing especially when you are used to 1.5 hours of sleep at a time. I decided from that moment that I was going to commit to the babywise plan. I continued to wake him at the exact same time every morning 7:30 and continued to same 3 hour routine until his normal bedtime.
My son took to the routine wonderfully. It was like he was aching for a schedule. After 1 week I would say he was almost perfect. Awake for 1 hour, sleep for 2 hours all day until bedtime. He was still waking 2 times a night, but at least he was sleeping in this crib and I could actually, cook, clean, and even possibly get away to the store by myself (AHH!!!)
When my daughter came along I knew I would do babywise with her and start immediately to get her eating every 3 hours. This was very easy for my daughter because she wasn't really interested in nursing. She was very calm, didn't cry much, and content with being in my arms (which mommy was fine with too) She didn't leave my side for the first week I think! Her sleeping pattern was way off, but as far as nursing every 3 hours, we started right away. It was hard at first because she wouldn't sleep for long periods of time. 40 minutes sometimes and then be awake. Not hungry, just awake. I had to follow *her* schedule for the first few weeks. She had the hardest time falling asleep. She fought sleep every time and I don't like to let my kids cry so I chose to get her to sleep anyway I could. Some times that was nursing her, most of the time that was holding her and walking around my room. At 5 weeks I had to get back to normal and begin doing bible study and going back to working occasionally so I really needed her to be predictable. I couldn't keep locking myself in my bedroom to walk her to sleep and leave my toddler roaming around the house. I decided I was going to have to let her cry it out to get her to go to sleep. At first I started the same things I did with my son. She did not like the pacifier. I would try rubbing her head, that didn't work either, just made her more mad. I would try getting her to sleep in my arms, then lay her down, she'd wake 5-10 minutes later realizing I wasn't there. All this time, my toddler is where? I realized I had to do something different for the sake of both my kids. I had to walk away. I hated this part. It goes against our mother instincts to leave our crying babies, but that was what I knew was best for me to parent both my kids.
My daughter was much harder to get on a schedule than my son was. He took to it almost immediately. My daughter took probably a good 6 weeks for her to get the schedule down. She had a difficult time sleeping all the way to the 3 hour mark with frequent wakings. She would wake early, and not because she was hungry. I kept on, laying her down when she showed she was tired and she very gradually started to sleep longer than 45 minutes. She is 6 months old now and is perfect on the 3 hour schedule, taking 3 naps a day. It was a much different experience with her than *training* my son.
This is one take on sleep training and the one I personally chose. You are welcome to read, and choose to do something different. I am here to answer any questions you may have. I'm a better mother to my kids, when I sleep and my kids are also happier when they are well rested. It may be easy when you have 1 child to say "we just got lucky he/she's a good baby"... but I firmly believe after having 2 babies with totally different styles and doing babywise with both, that the amount of sleep they get is the amount they require as babies and helps them to be very happy and content.
It is also my opinion that my son learned to trust he would always get food when he woke up. He never cried for hunger - ever. He woke up happy and KNEW he would get fed because it was a routine. It was predictable. This helped me as a mother because anytime my son DID cry, I knew something was wrong.
This is my babywise journey with both my kids. I am a well rested momma and 2 babies sleeping through the night and they both NEVER cry unless something is wrong! Babywise has made my kids happier and has made this momma's life easier as well!
Friday, June 6, 2014
Breastfeeding 101
Ive heard so many stories of Mommies wanting to breastfeed but having this issue or that issue and stopping. So I want to address some basic breastfeeding issues to encourage you all and give some tips to help things to go smoother for new and expecting Mommy's.
First off, the labor and birthing process is also strenuous on baby. Whether you have an all natural labor, or an emergency c section, Labor is tough on baby's and when we introduce med's, they can effect our baby's also. This can make baby appear and act very tired and fatigued immediately after birth, which can delay your nursing relationship. Whatever happens, after birth, get baby to latch immediately. Things that will help to get baby to latch right away will be getting baby doing skin to skin, and making the environment quiet and calm. You may have to ask your nursing staff and family to leave at this point. You have every right to ask for an hour of bonding time with your baby after their birth.
Sometimes, positioning is very difficult to figure out at first. Find a position in which you are comfortable and feel as though you can control baby, as well as a position in which your baby can latch appropriately. I used a pillow against my stomach and laid baby on it while having the head of the bed up so I was in a semi reclined position. I personally find that the Cradle and Crosscradle position work best for me in the first 3-4 weeks.
A major concern I hear is that while in the hospital, the staff, the nurse, family, or whoever, gets concerned that baby isn't getting any milk from mom because "her milk hasn't come in". First thing I need to address is that for the rest of your life, you are going to have someone trying to tell you what you should do/what they did/question what you are doing...As a parent, you will get the most unwelcomed advise you've ever wanted (or didn't want). This is something you should get used to, and figure out how you'd like to handle it. I personally have no problem when people have a different opinion than mine. I listened to different opinions and concerns for the first probably year of my son's life. Then I just got tired of it. I would politely tell people "thanks but we are doing it this way". I think that response had decreased the amount of "advise" I get and I was pleasantly surprised. I do not know everything and I often need to ask questions and get others' prospective. But if I don't ask, I probably don't want advise.
OK so back to the first days...The entire breast production/milk system is a beautifully designed system. I wont go into huge details but certain hormones from the labor and birth process trigger production of colostrum and milk production as well as when your baby first latches, their saliva triggers either colostrum in the first few days, or after your milk 'comes in', it triggers milk production to the level of your baby's satisfaction. If in the first few days of your baby's life, you succumb to allowing formula to supplement, your baby will not nurse for long on your breast which will not trigger the production of the amount of milk your baby needs, because they are already full on formula. Your body is creating just the right amount of colostrum your baby needs for the first few days. And if your body ISN'T producing the right amount, having baby nurse triggers your body to make more. Its actually a really easy formula (for lack of better words). Baby is hungry = nurse. Not enough milk = nurse. The solution is always to nurse!
Another problem with bottle feeding in general, is that formula or breast milk comes out much faster in a bottle than it does at the breast, so if there is continued bottle feeding in the first 2 months of baby's life, they will begin to prefer the bottle and not nurse as long = less milk production which can lead to the common complaint I hear of "I just magically dried up one day".
There are times when nursing can become painful. There may be issues with your baby's latch that cause you pain. If you cannot change positions and figure out how to get rid of the pain, consider seeing a Lactation Consultant. There is a great place in Massillon Ohio called The Breastfeeding Center. Their consultation costs $30 and you can go back as many times as you need for that price. A can of formula cost more than that. Spending that $30 on a consultation can fix your breastfeeding issues will save you TONS of money in the future on formula if you don't get the help.
And lastly feeding on a schedule really helps to regulate so your body knows when to produce and how much. I aimed for feeding every 2.5 hours for the first month of my son's life. With my daughter she wasn't as *into* nursing as he was, and so I started her every 3 hours. If I had to go somewhere (grocery store, appointment etc) I'd schedule it right after I would nurse her if I had to leave her, but I tried to never have to leave her. If I ever had to be away from her at a time where I would normally nurse her, I pumped instead. This is key to keeping your supply. You cant give breast milk while you are gone and not express milk from yourself and expect your supply to maintain the same milk production your baby needs.
Milk production works on supply and demand. So nurse your baby whenever he/she wants to nurse and aim for every 3 hours at least. If baby is asleep for more than 3 hours (during the day), I personally woke them up to nurse. This gave me longer stretches of sleep at night too and kept my babies from getting their days and nights mixed up, but that's a blog for another time.
Please feel free to ask me any question you have and please share this information so that other expectant mommies can get the best start in their breastfeeding relationships with their little ones. God Bless
First off, the labor and birthing process is also strenuous on baby. Whether you have an all natural labor, or an emergency c section, Labor is tough on baby's and when we introduce med's, they can effect our baby's also. This can make baby appear and act very tired and fatigued immediately after birth, which can delay your nursing relationship. Whatever happens, after birth, get baby to latch immediately. Things that will help to get baby to latch right away will be getting baby doing skin to skin, and making the environment quiet and calm. You may have to ask your nursing staff and family to leave at this point. You have every right to ask for an hour of bonding time with your baby after their birth.
Sometimes, positioning is very difficult to figure out at first. Find a position in which you are comfortable and feel as though you can control baby, as well as a position in which your baby can latch appropriately. I used a pillow against my stomach and laid baby on it while having the head of the bed up so I was in a semi reclined position. I personally find that the Cradle and Crosscradle position work best for me in the first 3-4 weeks.
A major concern I hear is that while in the hospital, the staff, the nurse, family, or whoever, gets concerned that baby isn't getting any milk from mom because "her milk hasn't come in". First thing I need to address is that for the rest of your life, you are going to have someone trying to tell you what you should do/what they did/question what you are doing...As a parent, you will get the most unwelcomed advise you've ever wanted (or didn't want). This is something you should get used to, and figure out how you'd like to handle it. I personally have no problem when people have a different opinion than mine. I listened to different opinions and concerns for the first probably year of my son's life. Then I just got tired of it. I would politely tell people "thanks but we are doing it this way". I think that response had decreased the amount of "advise" I get and I was pleasantly surprised. I do not know everything and I often need to ask questions and get others' prospective. But if I don't ask, I probably don't want advise.
OK so back to the first days...The entire breast production/milk system is a beautifully designed system. I wont go into huge details but certain hormones from the labor and birth process trigger production of colostrum and milk production as well as when your baby first latches, their saliva triggers either colostrum in the first few days, or after your milk 'comes in', it triggers milk production to the level of your baby's satisfaction. If in the first few days of your baby's life, you succumb to allowing formula to supplement, your baby will not nurse for long on your breast which will not trigger the production of the amount of milk your baby needs, because they are already full on formula. Your body is creating just the right amount of colostrum your baby needs for the first few days. And if your body ISN'T producing the right amount, having baby nurse triggers your body to make more. Its actually a really easy formula (for lack of better words). Baby is hungry = nurse. Not enough milk = nurse. The solution is always to nurse!
Another problem with bottle feeding in general, is that formula or breast milk comes out much faster in a bottle than it does at the breast, so if there is continued bottle feeding in the first 2 months of baby's life, they will begin to prefer the bottle and not nurse as long = less milk production which can lead to the common complaint I hear of "I just magically dried up one day".
There are times when nursing can become painful. There may be issues with your baby's latch that cause you pain. If you cannot change positions and figure out how to get rid of the pain, consider seeing a Lactation Consultant. There is a great place in Massillon Ohio called The Breastfeeding Center. Their consultation costs $30 and you can go back as many times as you need for that price. A can of formula cost more than that. Spending that $30 on a consultation can fix your breastfeeding issues will save you TONS of money in the future on formula if you don't get the help.
And lastly feeding on a schedule really helps to regulate so your body knows when to produce and how much. I aimed for feeding every 2.5 hours for the first month of my son's life. With my daughter she wasn't as *into* nursing as he was, and so I started her every 3 hours. If I had to go somewhere (grocery store, appointment etc) I'd schedule it right after I would nurse her if I had to leave her, but I tried to never have to leave her. If I ever had to be away from her at a time where I would normally nurse her, I pumped instead. This is key to keeping your supply. You cant give breast milk while you are gone and not express milk from yourself and expect your supply to maintain the same milk production your baby needs.
Milk production works on supply and demand. So nurse your baby whenever he/she wants to nurse and aim for every 3 hours at least. If baby is asleep for more than 3 hours (during the day), I personally woke them up to nurse. This gave me longer stretches of sleep at night too and kept my babies from getting their days and nights mixed up, but that's a blog for another time.
Please feel free to ask me any question you have and please share this information so that other expectant mommies can get the best start in their breastfeeding relationships with their little ones. God Bless
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Dear teenage girls
Lets be straight... Men think Sexually. Its true. And as a Woman, its hard to understand this. I didn't understand this when I was a teenager and I wish I had. Only when I married and discussed this openly with my spouse, did I even get a glimpse into the mind of a man. I dressed way too provocatively, and this put me in situations I could have avoided. Since woman aren't visually minded, it's not something we think about. In the summer when we put our shorts on, we aren't thinking, "Are these going to cause someone to lust or put sex on their minds". I was never instructed or told of the dangers of what my immodest behavior would do until I was in college and a professor mentioned it to me. It was very strange to me and made me consider my clothing from then on. I am writing this so that you will too. Please read and consider to take the challenge to protect yourself and help young boys/men to contain their sexual thoughts and minds.
Dear teenage girls, please cover up
Seems I cannot go anywhere without seeing way too short shorts and cleavage on young high school girls. I recently saw a picture that said "its not my fault if my bare legs and shoulders arouse you". We have become so indecent in our society and want to blame the men. Well, it may not be your fault they get aroused, but it does happens and it will continue to happen because Men think sexually. Men have desires, and young men are curious. And believe it or not, they cannot control where their brain wonders. Skin can and will arouse them, tight fitting clothes, even a glimpse of your chest as you bend over to pick something up is enough to cause their minds to think of sex. I think instead of putting blame on someone we need to ask ourselves these things:
1. Is it my desire to cause someone other than my spouse to think sexually due to my appearance? (this applies to single ladies)
2. Is there something I could do differently to eliminate or decrease this from happening?
3. If you are in a relationship or engaged, is it your desire to protect yourself and your spouse from temptation?
4. If you are single is it your responsibility to protect and cover yourself from the wrong attention that will present itself due to immodest dress?
5. Is it your desire to want to run away from temptation in this area of immodestly and honor the Lord with your clothing?
Hear me Dear Teenage girl. We need to be dignified. By showing too much, we present ourselves as objects. Objects that men can use in their minds sexually. And believe me, they will. You may not even know it happened. You may not even realize what your shorts look like in the back.
We are created in the image of God. We are beautiful. I strive to live my life as the Proverbs 31 woman. In verse 12 it says "she brings him good, not harm all the days of her life". I brought harm on lots of young men as I dressed very inappropriately for a long time. I wish I would have kept my body, that image, sacred and I hope to instill in my daughter a desire to want to keep herself modest to save all of herself, for her future husband, for his eyes only. I pray for you teenage girl, cover yourself with dignity and may 'all the days of your life' be preparing you for the marriage only God has for you.
Dear teenage girls, please cover up
Seems I cannot go anywhere without seeing way too short shorts and cleavage on young high school girls. I recently saw a picture that said "its not my fault if my bare legs and shoulders arouse you". We have become so indecent in our society and want to blame the men. Well, it may not be your fault they get aroused, but it does happens and it will continue to happen because Men think sexually. Men have desires, and young men are curious. And believe it or not, they cannot control where their brain wonders. Skin can and will arouse them, tight fitting clothes, even a glimpse of your chest as you bend over to pick something up is enough to cause their minds to think of sex. I think instead of putting blame on someone we need to ask ourselves these things:
1. Is it my desire to cause someone other than my spouse to think sexually due to my appearance? (this applies to single ladies)
2. Is there something I could do differently to eliminate or decrease this from happening?
3. If you are in a relationship or engaged, is it your desire to protect yourself and your spouse from temptation?
4. If you are single is it your responsibility to protect and cover yourself from the wrong attention that will present itself due to immodest dress?
5. Is it your desire to want to run away from temptation in this area of immodestly and honor the Lord with your clothing?
Hear me Dear Teenage girl. We need to be dignified. By showing too much, we present ourselves as objects. Objects that men can use in their minds sexually. And believe me, they will. You may not even know it happened. You may not even realize what your shorts look like in the back.
We are created in the image of God. We are beautiful. I strive to live my life as the Proverbs 31 woman. In verse 12 it says "she brings him good, not harm all the days of her life". I brought harm on lots of young men as I dressed very inappropriately for a long time. I wish I would have kept my body, that image, sacred and I hope to instill in my daughter a desire to want to keep herself modest to save all of herself, for her future husband, for his eyes only. I pray for you teenage girl, cover yourself with dignity and may 'all the days of your life' be preparing you for the marriage only God has for you.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
It's ALL hard
This is something that has been on my mind for MONTHS. I've finally had time to write about it so I hope you enjoy.
It seems that there are stages to our mothering boasts. Long ago there was the SAHM boast. Once you could afford or make it work to be a SAHM it was the thing to talk about and be proud of. "I'M a SAHM". And if you happened to be a SAHM that also home schooled, well there you go! Everyone strived to be that perfect mother.
Then came the opposite, the working mother boast. If you were a working mother and you cooked/cleaned took the kids everywhere and still were able to step out in public with makeup on and not in sweat pants, now THAT was what it was about! How did she do it?
Next came the lackadaisical boast. These are the moms who talked about all the things they DIDN'T do and that they were fine with it. You've seen it, the moms who say "I give my kid chocolate milk and fruit roll ups while they are planting in front of the TV watching a PG-13 movie and I don't care I'm no Susie Home Maker".
Which brings us to the present... I feel we are currently on a difficulty boast. All we want to talk about is what is more difficult. "I went all natural and unless you go all natural too then you are a wuss". Or "I had a c/s and that's way worst than your 'tear' so stop complaining".... I have 2 kids, I have 4 kids, my kids wont sleep, my babies are close together, my babies are 4 years apart, I work, I don't work... you get it. Why do we feel the need for a public acknowledgement of our achievements (or lack there of)? Why is it so important to us that someone else say "Wow, that must be tough. Hang in there"? Let me encourage ALL the moms out there whether you stay at home, have 5 kids under the age of 5, you have an all natural delivery, make all your baby food from scratch or you feed your kids fruit roll ups....
It IS difficult. Being pregnant is difficult. Having a baby is difficult (whatever way you do it). Having 1 baby is difficult. Having 4 babies is difficult. Being a SAHM is difficult. Being a working mother is difficult. Making your own baby food is difficult. Going to the grocery store is difficult. Home schooling your kids is difficult. Putting your kids on the bus is difficult. BEING A MOTHER IS DIFFICULT! Whatever stage you may be in, its hard. Rather than trying to make your predicament seem harder than anothers, can we all agree that what we do everyday is HARD! But we are mothers for a reason. God knew exactly what He was doing when He blessed you with your child(ren). He knew you would be the one who would do the best job at training and encouraging your child. He gave you the strengths, personality, the humor or whatever it is you use to help you get through each day, God knew you needed that.
I am reminded of Hebrews chapter 12 where we read about the example of God's disciple. It is never easy or pleasant in the beginning but verse 11 tells us it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. Let us focus not on how difficult our current situation is and lets remind ourselves that we can do it. God wants us and has equipped us to do it. Yes its hard. Yes some days are great. Yes other days we want to pull our hair out. But we survive. Our kids survive. And its worth it to see that 'harvest of righteousness' present itself as our children become independent. Let us thank the Lord for the opportunity we have to be parents and thank Him, yes, for the difficult times.
Lord thank you for entrusting us with such great responsibility. Thank you for blessing us so greatly and allowing us to be parents. Thank you for Your perfect will and timing in bringing them to us. We ask that you help us to be better parents....To be better teachers....To be better examples....To lead our children to you. We know that you know our struggles. We know that you know our daily tasks and challenges. We ask you give us strength and patience each day. We love you Lord and ask these things in Your Holy Name.
It seems that there are stages to our mothering boasts. Long ago there was the SAHM boast. Once you could afford or make it work to be a SAHM it was the thing to talk about and be proud of. "I'M a SAHM". And if you happened to be a SAHM that also home schooled, well there you go! Everyone strived to be that perfect mother.
Then came the opposite, the working mother boast. If you were a working mother and you cooked/cleaned took the kids everywhere and still were able to step out in public with makeup on and not in sweat pants, now THAT was what it was about! How did she do it?
Next came the lackadaisical boast. These are the moms who talked about all the things they DIDN'T do and that they were fine with it. You've seen it, the moms who say "I give my kid chocolate milk and fruit roll ups while they are planting in front of the TV watching a PG-13 movie and I don't care I'm no Susie Home Maker".
Which brings us to the present... I feel we are currently on a difficulty boast. All we want to talk about is what is more difficult. "I went all natural and unless you go all natural too then you are a wuss". Or "I had a c/s and that's way worst than your 'tear' so stop complaining".... I have 2 kids, I have 4 kids, my kids wont sleep, my babies are close together, my babies are 4 years apart, I work, I don't work... you get it. Why do we feel the need for a public acknowledgement of our achievements (or lack there of)? Why is it so important to us that someone else say "Wow, that must be tough. Hang in there"? Let me encourage ALL the moms out there whether you stay at home, have 5 kids under the age of 5, you have an all natural delivery, make all your baby food from scratch or you feed your kids fruit roll ups....
It IS difficult. Being pregnant is difficult. Having a baby is difficult (whatever way you do it). Having 1 baby is difficult. Having 4 babies is difficult. Being a SAHM is difficult. Being a working mother is difficult. Making your own baby food is difficult. Going to the grocery store is difficult. Home schooling your kids is difficult. Putting your kids on the bus is difficult. BEING A MOTHER IS DIFFICULT! Whatever stage you may be in, its hard. Rather than trying to make your predicament seem harder than anothers, can we all agree that what we do everyday is HARD! But we are mothers for a reason. God knew exactly what He was doing when He blessed you with your child(ren). He knew you would be the one who would do the best job at training and encouraging your child. He gave you the strengths, personality, the humor or whatever it is you use to help you get through each day, God knew you needed that.
I am reminded of Hebrews chapter 12 where we read about the example of God's disciple. It is never easy or pleasant in the beginning but verse 11 tells us it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. Let us focus not on how difficult our current situation is and lets remind ourselves that we can do it. God wants us and has equipped us to do it. Yes its hard. Yes some days are great. Yes other days we want to pull our hair out. But we survive. Our kids survive. And its worth it to see that 'harvest of righteousness' present itself as our children become independent. Let us thank the Lord for the opportunity we have to be parents and thank Him, yes, for the difficult times.
Lord thank you for entrusting us with such great responsibility. Thank you for blessing us so greatly and allowing us to be parents. Thank you for Your perfect will and timing in bringing them to us. We ask that you help us to be better parents....To be better teachers....To be better examples....To lead our children to you. We know that you know our struggles. We know that you know our daily tasks and challenges. We ask you give us strength and patience each day. We love you Lord and ask these things in Your Holy Name.
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