The Changes after Baby for good and bad
Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.
I think its safe to say that nothing can prepare you for what it is like to actually be a mother. The love, the emotions, the delicacy, the lack of sleep, the joy, the trials, the 'figuring out', the (dare I say) Hormones... AH. You cannot prepare for these things, but, I hope that I can offer some things that you can anticipate before baby arrives. Let me first adress the parents.
*By far the #1 best thing you can offer your child is a stable, loving marriage relationship with your spouse.
-Your relationship with your husband is SOOOO very important for your children. Your children will gain security, confidence, happiness and so much more through seeing stable parents. Does this mean you and husband can NEVER have an argument again? Absolutely not, but it means that the way you handle your disagreements, need to be through love. Your children need to see that mommy and daddy disagree, but they talk/work through it and neither one of them is going anywhere.
*It is time to stop being selfish. (Acts 20:35)
-Uh oh did I hit a nerve there? We are ALL selfish it is our nature. But it is time to forget about your nails being done, or your shopping trips, or your favorite show you like to watch. Your child is going to consume your life. As the mother, they will be your responsibility 24/7. There is no way to grasp this until it happens. But it is a constant sponge that is always requiring your attention, your planning, your energy and you can, very easily, become overwhelmed. What makes this a little worst? Men do not have this feeling. As a father, they are not first in command, they do not have the hormones (it comes in again) that we do which create feelings of need to care for your child 24/7. Bringing us back to point #1, you and your spouse will need to talk about (and agree upon) what you as a mommy need in order to feel refreshed once in awhile. If that means when baby goes down for a nap, give daddy the monitor and get a nice hot bubble bath, or go to the grocery store ALONE, or just sit and paint your nails... BUT remember these things are worldly and not important so do not put too much emphasis on this happiness, it is temporary.
*Evening, me time
1 Samual 1:27-28 I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord, for his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.
-I am not sure what a typical evening looks for you and your spouse right now. Do you get home from work and sit at the dinner table together, have a nice converstion of what your day was like, after dinner clean up a little and then sit on the couch together and watch some tv? You may think this is the perfect way so spend your afternoon, relaxing. Well, say goodbye. Once daddy is home for the night you will feel releived, however, your spouse may not share this feeling with you. Your evenings (and days and hours and minutes for that matter) will not be able to be planned (for the most part), so for type a people like me, dinner may not happen at the same time every night any longer. You will have to let go of your 'schedule' and just go with the flow, which, is much easier said then done.
*Friends and Support
Luke 1:57-58 When it was time for Elizabeth to have her baby, she gave birth to a son. Her neighors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown her great mercy, and they shared in her joy.
-Unfortunatly your friends and possibliy your family may not share in your joy. Especially friends who do not have children yet. We tend to talk non-stop about our newborns because, lets face it, they consume us. Not to mention how cute they are and how proud we are of their every breath, but be prepared that some friends, may not want to hear about how baby slept last night, and how nasty of a poopy diaper they had yesterday, and how their dr visit went and what percentile they are in. You will need to tread lightly and it may be a good thing to ask "Am I boring you with info about my little one? What would you like to talk about". We can easily dictate the conversations and this can lead to loss of friendships.
Ok let me move on to addressing baby and baby changes
*Pray for your child
Luke 15:10 I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.
1 Corinthians 3:16 Dont you know that you yourselfs are God's temple and that God's spirit dwells in your midst?
-What better thing can we do for our child than pray for them? I pray everyday, sometimes multiple times a day for my son. I pray for his health, his salvation, his sleeping, his tummy, his intelligence, his protection, his future spouse, his career, his discipline, the Lord's blessing. I praise God for giving him to me and allowing me to be his mother. I pray for myself to be the best parent I can be and to, in everything I do, lead him to Christ by my actions. Pray for your child, over your child, pray with your baby (yes even with your newborn do this). I once got the best advise i've ever gotten regarding this. A friend said her mother in-law would pray for her childrens' future spouse anytime she nursed them. Nursing is the most intimate time you have with your children and numerous times, I will pray while nursing and be crying tears of thankfulness to my Gracious Lord.
Here are some great verses to pray scripture back to the Lord about your child.
Proverbs 3:3-6
2 Corinthians 9:8
Numbers 6:24-26
Psalms 22:9-10
Jeremiah 1
*What's best for baby
Genesis 49:25 Because of your father’s God, who helps you, because of the Almighty, who blesses youwith blessings of the skies above, blessings of the deep springs below, blessings of the breast and womb.
-It is so hard to know what is always best for baby with all the research out there, parenting books, websites, artciles, then 'advise' you may be given from the dr... AH what do we do? All I can say is research everything. Just because everyone else is giving rice ceral at 3 months, putting the carseat on shopping carts, formula feeding, watching tv with baby, co-sleeping, vaccinating etc... does not mean its whats best for your child. You need to trust your instinct and get educated. If you dont know what questions to ask, ask another mother what concerns or problems she had with her newborn.
*Get Support
-This is by far the best way to ensure you will continue to do whats best for baby. Whether its breastfeeding, diapering, feeding, cry-it-out, scheduling babys feedings and naps, sleeping through the night... there is support out there for everything. Join a facebook group, ask other moms, get others opinions and use your judgement. God gave us all a mommy instinct, if it doesnt sound right, dont do it (even if it comes from your 'dr').
And make sure you and your spouse are on the same page (again point #1 is key). Any parenting decisions need to be decided and discussed together.
*Enjoy it
-I could literally talk about this for days. Between scripture verses, the feelings/emotions (hormones again), the joy, the anticipation.... there is no better feeling in the world. They seriously grow up TOO fast, so enjoy every sleepless night, every poopy diaper change, every difficult feeding, every fussy cry. If your cherish the hard times, you will be so much more joyful for the amazing times.
Proverbs 23:25 May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!
Being parents is hard, but remember it is also a duty, a chore, a job that the Lord has passed down to you. Be a servant, as Christ was a servant and teach your children to do the same.
~Baby Blog~
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